Buying a car, moving to a new city, or having a baby will make some people feel like a full-fledged adult. For others, though, it's easy to feel like a kid who's playing at being a grown-up. What causes this disconnect? You could be making one (or many) of the small mistakes that keep you from becoming a grown-ass woman. Once you're aware of these setbacks, however, you can make adjustments and feel like a real adult in no time.
To be fair, plenty of young adults feel like oversized kids. Actually, many people of the millennial generation don't feel grown at all and don't identify as adults until age 30, according to The Wrap. When the legal age of adulthood starts at 18, this leaves more than a decade of this in-between stage.
So what can you do to make the leap to the grown-up's table? Adulthood can be defined in so many ways, but one aspect come up time and again: responsibility. Real adults take responsibility for their finances, relationships, and behavior. Sure, it isn't always simple to stick to a budget or maintain healthy boundaries with a difficult colleague, but that's what grown people do. These small mistakes are common and easy to make, but learning to take different approaches to your problems will make all the difference.
1. You Blow Up Over Inconveniences
Mature adults can handle the inevitable screw-ups in daily life. But when you freak out about every spilled coffee or traffic jam, you're only hurting yourself. Reacting negatively to daily annoyances can increase your stress, potentially compromising your ability to think and remember things, according to CNN.
2. You Ignore Debt
Debt is a fact of life for so many millennials, including me, but there are mature ways to deal with it. Pretending your debt does not exist, and ignoring your credit card statements out of fear, is not the best way to manage it. But keeping track of your debt payments, and maybe refinancing them with a loan, is a grown-ass move indeed.
3. You Can't Say No
Peer pressure is less of a thing for adults. Being able to say no is crucial for your independence, according to HuffPost. Trying to please too many people at once will only hurt you.
4. You Sleep Poorly
Some people struggle with legitimate insomnia or other sleep disorders, which is a whole separate issue. Plenty of people, however, will ruin a perfectly good night's sleep by staying up too late browsing cat GIFs on Reddit. Sleep is so important, though, and the average adult needs about 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night in order to function properly, according to the National Sleep Foundation. Taking responsibility for your sleep needs is a mature, adult thing to do.
5. You Have No Monthly Budget
Keeping a budget is easier than ever, with so many apps and sites devoted to budgeting. Even if you keep a rough idea of your finances in your head, getting it down on a screen (or even paper) can be so instructive. You have to face exactly how many Uber rides you take each week.
6. You Go Without Self-Care
It's so simple, but taking care of your body and mind is one step many people overlook. Even if you want to dominate in your job or passion, everyone needs some rest and relaxation from time to time. Take some me-time to avoid burnout.
7. You Act Like A Doormat
You don't have to put up with crappy behavior from other people. Ever. Grown up women don't let others walk all over them.
8. You Apologize Too Much
Sorry isn't always necessary. Apologizing constantly can undermine you over time, according to HuffPo. You can state opinions in a direct way without using the word sorry as a buffer.
9. You Don't Save For Retirement
Sure, it's easy to feel like your retirement years will never arrive. But in reality, retirement savings can't start soon enough, according to The New York Times. Even setting aside a small fraction of your income is a good start.
10. You Blame Others For Problems
It's easy to play the blame game. But blaming others for problems is childish behavior, according to the website for Psychology Today. Seeking solutions for those problems is way more productive.
11. You Lack Boundaries
Grown-ass women know how to set boundaries for themselves, as well as respect the boundaries other people set. Personal boundaries show respect for yourself and other people, according to Psych Central. Knowing what you consider acceptable behavior, and expecting others to follow suit, is a very adult move.