Every marriage is different, but I believe they all share one simple truth: they're hard work. No matter how much you love and respect your partner, nurturing a lifelong bond just isn't easy. There can be so many outside forces that can drive a wedge between you and your partner, and so many things you didn't realize are signs of marriage troubles.
When you think of what leads to a divorce, you probably think of extremely serious issues like abuse, affairs, or even falling out of love. But the things that lead to the breakup of a marriage can often be much smaller and more insidious. Not spending time together, not being intimate, and not being kind to each other are all things that can seem small in the day to day of your marriage, but they can ultimately ruin it. But the good news is, even if you or your partner has developed a behavior that's hurting your marriage, you can probably correct it. It may take time, focus, dedication, and teamwork, but if you're committed to maintaining a healthy marriage it'll be worth the effort.
Here are 11 things things that could be damaging your marriage that you can put a stop to today.
1. You're Not Having Sex
You're tired, you're not in the mood, you've got a headache. The excuses are endless. The Huffington Post noted that if you or your partner always has an excuse not to have sex, this could spell trouble for your marriage.
2. You're Fighting Over Money
Fighting about money can put a huge strain on your marriage, according to Your Tango. The problem can become even worse if on partner is lying about their spending or hiding debts, so honesty is always the best policy.
3. You Can't Agree On Having Kids
Having kids is a huge decision for a couple, one that should probably be discussed long before tying the knot. If you and your partner can't agree on having children, that doesn't bode well for your marriage according to Woman's Day.
4. You're Fantasizing About Other People, Even If It's Not Sexual
Even if it's not about sex, Oprah noted that fantasizing about other people is damaging to a marriage. If you find yourself thinking about how someone else would treat you better or give you a more exciting life, you're unfairly comparing your partner to something they'll probably never be able to live up to — because it doesn't exist.
5. You Never Fight
While fighting isn't fun, it can be healthy for your marriage. Good Housekeeping noted that when a couple doesn't fight, it could be a sign of apathy toward each other.
6. You're Not Making Time For Each Other
Between kids, work, and other obligations, life can get in the way for busy couples. But being too busy for each other can mean big trouble in a marriage, as author Anita Chipala told Redbook. Chipala added that being disconnected from each other is one of the top causes of divorce.
7. You Feel More Like Roommates
Have you given up on sharing a bed? The Today Show noted that sleeping in separate bedrooms is a big red flag in a marriage. It'll be hard to keep the spark alive if you're not falling asleep next to your partner.
8. You Constantly Criticize Each Other
If you and your partner are constantly criticizing each other, you may be headed to Splitsville, according to the Guardian. It can lead to resentment, and feeling resentful toward your partner is no way to nurture your marriage.
9. You're Working Too Much
If you or your partner is working long hours, is it really about the job? Some people may tempted to think that working late is an excuse to cover up an affair, but Popsugar noted that it might just be about wanting to avoid going home.
10. You're Getting The Silent Treatment
Anyone who's ever gotten the silent treatment from a partner would probably call it immature or annoying. But Psych Central noted that the silent treatment is much more damaging than that and can stir up lots of negative emotions in a marriage.
11. Your Partner Isn't Your "Go To" Person
When you get amazing news, or hear a funny story, or want to share an exciting idea, who's the first person you'd call? According to Prevention, if the answer isn't your partner, your marriage could be in major trouble. Sharing such things is a key part of maintaining intimacy you need for a happy marriage.