You haven't known embarrassment until you're wearing a string bikini at an incredibly crowded beach in East Hampton and your son unties the bottoms, exposing your vulva to anyone who happens to be looking in your direction. You thought pooping while giving birth was embarrassing? Try showing your elderly grandmother-in-law your lady garden. This is due to my own poor planning, and I resolved for it to never happen again, to any of us. That's why I've found these 11 swimsuits perfect for playing with your kids while keeping everything in its place.
One-pieces are huge this season, and with everyone from Madewell to J Crew releasing adorable versions of the classic, there are more options for stay-put swimwear than ever before. There is also a huge variety of high-waisted bottomed bikinis, tankinis that are actually cute, and surfing style rash guard suits that are now high fashion all on their own. There is no need to be uncomfortable or to risk exposing any of your bits that you don't want exposed when you're playing with your kids at the pool or beach. Obviously, prices on these suits run the gamut and can get really expensive, but most are reasonably affordable, and you can try them on in your own home.
1. Sailor Stripes
J. Crew One Shoulder Striped Swim Suit
This screams full 1940s "Singing In The Rain" vintage gorgeousness. If a suit can stay put and offer this much style, I am all for it. Plus it's so cute that if you add a pair of white linen pants on the bottom, you could wear it to the bar later.
2. Tropical Tankini
Women's Strappy Front Tankini - Kona Sol Navy Tropical
Say what you will about tankinis, but they're dead simple to wear when you're going to the bathroom. One-pieces are gorgeous, but have you ever tried to roll one down and up when they're wet? Gah. It's like trying to pull on Spanx right after a shower.
3. Still Sexy, But Stays Put
ASHLEY GRAHAM X SWIMSUITS FOR ALL BOSS BLACK CUT OUT UNDERWIRE ONE PIECE SWIMSUIT
Swimsuits For All
Model Ashley Graham has her own line of swimsuits, and they are stunning. Made for a variety of sizes, this suit will hold the girls in place and keep you from getting uncomfortable wedgies during a game of Chase-Your-Kid-Down-For-More-Sunscreen.
4. Casual Cute
T Shirt Suit
I adore Chromat suits. They're spendy, but they're sexy, fun, comfortable, and the brand celebrates inclusivity and body positivity. It's a win all around.
5. Cutout Suits
Madewell Second Wave Cutout One-Piece Swimsuit in Colorblock
It's not a one-piece, it's not a bikini — it's both and it's neither, and I love it. Reviews don't show complaints about riding up or discomfort, so I think this should be on the list.
6. For Modest Moms
How cute is this suit? It's all kitted out with multiple ties making sure the hijab stays firmly connected, and the pants/skirt combination stay affixed to one another. It's made for maximum breathability, so you won't overheat.
7. Rashguards Are Your Friend
I love rashguards. Not only are they great at covering up any potential nipple incidents before they happen, they also protect my translucent skin. I'm Sansa Stark pale, so I really need to keep it covered if I don't want to be Bob the Tomato red.
8. This Midriff Stripe
Santorini Swimsuit - Navy/Rainbow Stripe
This stripe across the middle is just so cute and retro-fun that it's bound to match any cute suit your kids are sporting. The cut of this suit also tells me it's made for actually moving on the beach.
9. Another Tankini, Because Comfort
Women's Plus Size Tie Shoulder Tankini Top - Kona Sol™
Gingham was incredibly popular when I was in junior high and elementary, so of course, I love this. It's cute, and you can pee easily when wearing it.
10. Another Modest Option
Purple Cell Margaux Swim Top with Purple Long Swim Skort
Having many friends and family who are Orthodox Jewish, I've had occasion to wear a suit like this, and let me tell you, they're so comfy. If you're looking for modest swimwear, this company is where it's at.
11. The Cutest Fruit Pattern
Old Navy Tie-Front Secret-Slim Underwire Plus-Size Swimsuit
I am living for this watermelon pattern. It's 100 percent summer fun, and its full bottom and wired top means that it will stay where it's supposed to as you play with your kids.