It's a fact of life that people are going to comment on things they really have no right to. The well-meaning stranger in line at the store, the friend you've had for ages who knows you too well, the distant relative who tends to condemn every decision you make. All of these people have opinions and most of the time have no issue with voicing them. Here's the thing though, not all opinions need to be said out loud. I'm usually a pretty understanding person, but there are some things people can say about your partner that are actually insults, no matter how you spin it.
When it comes to my personal life, my appearance, my kids and my man, I'd like everyone to just calm down and keep their opinions to themselves. I don't think I'm alone here either. Even if you're non-confrontational, passive or just tend to let negativity fall off your back, sometimes enough is enough.
Although I'm not sure how exactly to respond to comments of this nature (I usually fall into the "let it slide" category), it doesn't mean that I'm not bothered by it. Here are some of the most common "insults in compliment's clothing" that people tend to throw around without a second thought.
1. "That's Great That They Let You Do That."
As if our relationship somehow depends on me being the boss of what my partner can and can't do? Yes, I'm letting them.
2. "They Used To Be So Hot."
Um, used to be?!
3. "Your Kids Get *Insert Behavior* From Him."
Whether it's a good or a bad thing, this feels a bit alienating. And yes, I have a role in what my kids do too.
4. "I Wouldn't Let Them Out Of My Sight, If I Were You."
Noted. Thanks for your vote of confidence. Bye.
5. "I Never Pictured You With Someone Like That."
This is a double-whammy of an insult — it's aimed at them, but subtly hits at your decision making skills.
6. "They're Doing Really Well, For A Guy/Girl."
Yes, this can have a zillion different contexts and none of them are acceptable.
7. "They'll Grow Out Of It."
Thanks, but no thanks. My partner is already pretty good at adulting.
8. "They Clean Up So Well!"
Either you're saying that my SO looks like crap most of the time, or that you think they're hot. And neither of which is really ideal. Thanks, bye.
9. "They Carry The Weight Well."
I just can't with this one.
10. "He/She Looks So Different In Photos!"
Again, this really can't be spun in a positive way here people.
11. "You're Out Of Their League."
Obviously not, since we're clearly together and are clearly pretty happy about it.