Before getting married, I don't think many people anticipate getting divorced. Of the few friends that I know who have been through a divorce, one of the initial claims that they make is that they "never saw it coming." Personally though, I think it's very seldom for a divorce to occur without any sign from your partner. Even if they are unexpected signs your marriage is doomed, there's almost always a telltale sign that your marriage is in trouble.
Since I take the "'til death do us part" promise seriously, I often ask other married couples for advice, take classes at my church, and do my own research to help prevent divorce. Although I know that no two marriages will ever be the same, I understand that most of the red flags that arise before the trouble comes along are similar in each situation. So, if you're able to spot them at the beginning, you'll be able to possibly save your marriage. Or, if you spot these things before you get married, it could save you from marrying the wrong person.
Whether you're getting married or are already there, here are 11 unexpected signs that prove you may be heading for a split.
1. They Belittle You
According to Women's Health, having someone belittle you shows that they have no respect for you and in any relationship, respect is important. Though you may initially feel as if you may be the one to blame for them putting you down, this could be a telltale sign that you two aren't meant to be.
2. You've Started Spending More Time Apart
Woman's Day noted that once you've started spending time apart, your marriage is in trouble. Especially if that time is being spent with another person, as it can open the door for emotional or physical cheating. So, if spending time with your spouse does not feel like a relief, you should consider whether this is the right situation for you.
3. You Feel Lonely
According to Redbook, doomed marriages are plagued with loneliness, which can lead to one or both spouses cheating. No one likes to feel alone, so if your partner is not supplying the attention you need, you may feel as if you need to find it elsewhere. If you communicate this to your spouse and they ignore it, your marriage can be falling apart.
4. One Or Both Of Your Careers Comes Before Your Family
HuffPost noted that putting your career before your partner can make your spouse resent you and cause your marriage to deteriorate. Though your spouse is supposed to support your dreams, they are not supposed to come second to them.
5. There Is No Effort To Communicate
The aforementioned Women's Health article also noted that being with someone that only wants to communicate when it's convenient for them shows that they are selfish and controlling.
6. Someone Is Very Lazy In The Relationship
According to Cosmopolitan, laziness in the marriage can also aid in the deterioration of it. If your spouse is lazy in your marriage, they will most likely be the same way in the other areas of their life, causing you to become frustrated. Even if it doesn't seem like a big deal at first, having a lazy partner can wear on you and make you feel like you're doing everything by yourself.
7. You Barely Touch One Another
Prevention noted that limited touching in a marriage can tear it apart. Intimacy and connection in marriages are developed through touching. So, if that is limited, your happiness will match.
8. There's No Respect
9. You're Not Honest With Each Other About Your Spending
As noted in the aforementioned HuffPost article, being dishonest about your finances can reveal to your partner that you have unhealthy spending habits, which can cause issues in the future. Though hiding small purchases can seem harmless, transparency is needed in order for the marriage to thrive.
10. You've Stopped Displaying Big Emotions With Each Other
The previously mentioned Prevention article also noted that not displaying the big emotions — like crying or becoming angry — can cause your marriage to fail because it can seem as if you are don't care. Cutting off your emotions cause disconnection with your partner and make the probability of your marriage surviving very low.
11. You Never Think About Sex With Them
As mentioned in the previous Redbook article, if you're not thinking of sex with your partner, the marriage will not last. Sex is a way to be intimate with your spouse and if that isn't received, it can cause one or both partners to cheat. Though things will get in the way of sex sometimes, if you're avoiding it or are turned off by your partner, there are deeper issues.