No one likes getting their ego hurt, and that includes men. Our pride depends on how we view our worth, confidence, and self-esteem. The same goes for that tough guy you thought you knew so well. A blow to their confidence can send them down a spiral of insecurity. There are so many common phrases that can hurt a man's feelings, some that we didn't even know about.
Like a backward compliment, telling someone that they're not "traditionally a good-looking guy" or bringing up the fact that you're into their friend can surprisingly hurt their feelings. Also, watch when you laugh. I have totally laughed during sex, and each time it doesn't go over well. The fact is men are vulnerable and women have more power over men than we even realize we do. Yay, powerful women!
Like all of us, men just want to succeed, so when we criticize them, even if we don't mean to, it can make them feel like they're not doing their soul's purpose. I'm not saying we need to start stroking men's egos but it doesn't hurt to keep in mind that they too have feelings. Knowing this might change the way we joke around with them. I talked to a bunch of my guy friends who opened up to me and shared the most common things that women have said that have hurt their feelings.
1. "You're a dreamer." - Lance, 34
Relationships are about supporting each other, even if your man has a crazy dream, like being a stand-up comedian. Support him while he goes on this adventure. Who knows, he might actually be good at it.
2. "Whenever a woman says that they are super into bald dudes. I'm glad I'm just a fetish for you?" - Atif, 32
Aw, Atif is more than just a bald head.
3. "Did you even try?" - Anonymous
I just want to give this guy a hug.
4. "Telling me that I'm not traditionally a good-looking guy." - Anonymous
Oh, one of those backwards compliments that might intend to flatter, but end up doing the complete opposite.
5. "I like your friend." - George, 41
Nobody wants to be told that their friend is the better choice, even if they aren't even into you.
6. "A lot of women think it’s cool to tell me I look like a serial killer. Sure, they’ll say “sexy serial killer” but the sexy doesn’t cancel out the serial killer part." - Joe, 27
Joe, if a lot of women have told you this, have you thought about getting a new look?
7. "You look kinda fat." - Max, 28
Body image issues are not just for women, and saying this, even in jest, can do more harm than you think. A study at Bradley University shows that "over 90% of men struggle in some way with body dissatisfaction" so we should exercise some sensitivity and be sure to call out when they do look good, not when they don't. Oh, and you look great, Max.
8. "My best friend was the "hot guy" in school so girls would ask me about him a lot and I'd be like WTF." - Tyler, 28
We hear you, nobody want to be the not-as-hot sidekick. But I bet his hot friend isn't so hot anymore.
9. "That wasn't funny." - Marco, 31
Of course guys want to make us laugh. Laughing is a pure reaction and everyone feels a little crushed when their jokes don't land. According to an article posted in Psychology Today, "laughter is primarily a social vocalization that binds people together." It also says that, "laughter of the female, not the male, is the critical index of a healthy relationship."
10. "Oh, you have roommates." - Conrad, 34
Well, come on Conrad, get it together. Unless you're a millionaire, you're bound to have roommates if you're living in a big city — I have three of them — but I will admit, it is great to date a guy who has his own place. Nobody enjoys those awkward roommate run ins.
11. "I don't like guys shorter than 6'0." - Matt, 27
I'm 6 feet tall barefoot, so I definitely say this a lot. Oops. But I feel like I have the right to be a height snob. Nothing makes me madder than a short girl wanting to date a tall guy. Save them for us.
12. "My ex used to do that." - Joey, 22
Whether you're bringing up your ex to imply that your current beau is doing something for better or worse, don't. He doesn't want to be reminded that you dated other people and just doesn't want to hear about your ex, ever.
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