Before we married, my partner and I had a beautiful baby girl. While not anticipated, it was amazing and confusing and, mostly, conflict-inducing. We hadn't ever discussed, at length, the involvement of our parents as grandparents to our child/children, and there came a point where it was a major issue. In the beginning all was good until, well, it wasn't. There are a lot of things I wish my partner would've said to my in-laws about our baby because, honestly, it might've helped us navigate the boundaries much sooner.
In playing Devil's advocate, I can understand how my partner's parents might want to be so involved in our daughter's life that they may, unknowingly, overstep. Also, knowing that my partner is majorly passive and will avoid conflict by all means possible, it was inevitable that a perfect storm would erupt at some point. It turns out, weeks surrounding our wedding was that point and we'd eventually have to separate ourselves from the situation entirely to focus on our own growing family. Fun, right?
After I had our son (5 years later) and life returned back to "normal," it became apparent that some issues we'd had before still hadn't changed, while a lot of the really important things had. Navigating any relationship is tricky but I can't help but ask myself, is it my place or my partner's when it comes to his parents? We've been together 13 years this summer and, in that time, he's never spoken up to his parents about things that have caused issues between he and I. Yes it's as frustrating as it sounds, especially when all I want is the best for my children (which, to be clear, involves all grandparents). With that, here are some things I wish he'd have said to my in-laws a long damn time ago, regarding both of our babies.