12 Things Only Someone Who Belongs In House Baratheon Knows

When it comes to choosing favorite Game of Thrones houses, it is an interesting, diverse, and select few who choose House Baratheon. That's not to say that the Baratheons have nothing to recommend them — they absolutely do — but the truth of the matter is we don't see too much about their lands, castle, or family. The only real glimpse we get of the clan is via the three brothers: Robert, Stannis, and Renly... and two of those blokes have kicked the bucket since episode 1. (Spoilers? Too late for that. Whatever. The show's been on since 2011. That's on you. Also, it's Game of Thrones. You don't have to know much about the show to know that a character has probably died since the beginning of the series.)

I've always thought of the Baratheons as a Texas football family. They come from a tough part of the country, which translates into a certain roughness in themselves. They're very proud and often stubborn. They're competitive with themselves and others, and the idea of losing is not a thought they entertain for an instant. Over the course of Game of Thrones, those who identify with House Baratheon have won battle here and there, yes, but more importantly they have won some important life lessons and hard truths.

Be Careful Whom You Marry

Between Robert's marriage to Cersei Lannister, who would ultimately plot his death; Stannis' marriage to Selyse Florent, who introduces him to the zealous (perhaps malevolent) priestess Melisandre; and Renly's marriage to Margery Tyrell when he totally should have married her brother Loras, the Baratheons are a crew unlucky in their nuptials.

Fortune Favors The Bold

When Robert decided to challenge the Mad King, Aerys Targaryen II (and his son, Rhaegar) for the Iron Throne, that was a damn risky move that ultimately paid off. So it stands to reason that Renly and Stannis would both put in a claim kingship after their brother's untimely demise.

Surround Yourself With Honest Friends

Flatterers may make you feel good in the moment, but everyone needs someone who is in your corner who will also keep your grounded. I'm talking your Ned Starks, your Davos Seaworths, and your Loras Tyrells. The dudes who want what is best for you, so they'll tell you when you're being a damn idiot.

Baratheons Are Charismatic

In his day, Robert was known as one of the most dashing and handsome men in the land. Renly's amiability and charm served him well as a member of his brother's small council and then again when he rallied the Tyrells to his cause. Then there's Stannis... Well, two out of three ain't bad.

Baratheons Make Damn Good Looking Kids

Oh Gendry...

The fire in the bottom corner of that second gif (you're welcome by the way) is coming from my loins...

Winning A War Is Not The Same As Ruling A Kingdom

This is a tough thing for the Baratheons to understand. Being Stormlanders, a people accustomed to a tumultuous natural (and political) environment, war comes almost naturally to them. They understand war. But when it comes to ruling, they're at a bit of a loss.

Don't Be Hesitant To Insist Upon Genetic Testing

Ever notice how your kid looks a lot like your brother-in-law, Robert. Like... a lot a lot? Maybe look into that.

Beware Hunting Trips

The boar meat ain't worth it, Robert. Go to the drive thru at McDonalds. They serve breakfast all day now.

Baratheons Are Not The Best Parents

Real talk: This scene caused me literal anxiety and I couldn't even. (Also because it's not in the books, so I was actually surprised when it happened.)

Maybe It's Weird To Cut Off Your Friend's Fingers

Looking at you, Stannis. Seriously. Who the eff does that? Though between sacrificing your own child to a fire god and impregnating your cult leader with a demon shadow baby that kills your little brother, I guess this isn't the weirdest thing you've done.

Baratheons Are Determined

The throne is iron and so is their will. These guys do not bend or break. They're tenacious AF.

It's Good To Be The King

It's no wonder all the Baratheon boys want it so badly.