There’s nothing quite like diving into a really good story. The best books wrap around you and don’t let go until the final climax. The best writers know how to penetrate the soul completely and leave you delicately hanging between elation and grief. That being said, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that book lovers know how to be great at sex. I mean, seriously, if you come across someone who can discuss Kafka and Pirsig with relative ease, you have definitely found someone you’d like to have naked. If you don't quite see the connection between the two, don't worry, we're about to get into it. (And if that doesn’t particularly strike your fancy, please feel free to send them my way because, well, I’d like to spend some quality time with them.) The fact is, people who know what makes a good book are also more inclined to know how to turn a woman on in all the right ways.
So what is it about the literary mind that makes a person so capable between the sheets? Are there secret passages hidden within the famous classics that tell you how to be good at oral sex? Is Anna Karenina a decoder ring for sexual satisfaction? If you read Edgar Allan Poe’s poems backwards, do they tell you what positions are best for female orgasms? Whatever it is, find someone who loves to read and you will mostly likely find someone who can read you well enough to stimulate every inch. Here are just some of the reasons why book lovers are amazing in bed:
We Are Thorough
If we can read every line of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, we can certainly make sure we cover every inch of you, mind and body.
We Have Intense Focusing Abilities
People who really love books can manage to read no matter what is going on around them. We can ignore fights, drama, and the occasionally police officer attempting to get our attention before we walk off a ledge we didn't see. When it comes to sex, you will have our entire focus, which will have been finely honed from years of reading.
We Know How To Experience A Broad Array Of Emotions
Reading a truly good book takes you on a journey through the entire spectrum of emotions. We know how to love, fight, play, and even die. We've lost the characters we've loved and we've found hope in the love of new characters. When you climb in bed with a book lover, be prepared to feel everything, because you can be sure they sure as hell are.
We Completely Throw Ourselves Into Whatever We Like
We are always ready to be completely immersed in an adventure. And yes, this may involve some dirty endeavors in public places (if you're lucky).
Whether we've actually traveled the globe or never left our houses, we've seen the world. We've gone on adventures with pirates, traversed deserts, fought in ancient wars, and seen the sun rise from the highest peak. That's how we experience books and it's how we're going to experience you: We want to see and know everything.
We're Completely Present In Whatever We're Doing
Whether it’s the sheets of the bed or the sheets of paper that compose our favorite books, we dive in completely. Fully. Thoroughly. Intensely. The point is, you're going to love exactly how consumed we can be.
We Can Join Your World And Savor Your Fantasies
We know how to become part of so many different kinds of worlds. We know exactly what imagination and fantasy feels like. So, no, that gold bikini isn't out of reach. Really, nothing is out of reach when you're getting down with the formidable imagination of a book lover.
We Know How To Cherish The Good Stuff
We care for our books like we care for our souls. We linger on the best lines and hold their fragile pages with gently curious fingers. I think the translation to sex pretty much doesn't require too much explanation.
We Work Hard Our Sexual Imaginations
It's easy to watch porn and become aroused. It's quite another thing to read words on a page and feel them come to life in your mind in such a way that your lips taste the salty skin of a character. Book lovers are really good at the latter.
We Understand Subtle Stimulation
Book lovers understand subtly and subtly is a tool of the gods when it comes to sex. We know exactly what a slight alteration in a sentence can do and we know precisely what hot breath on the neck can do.
We Keep The Very Best Between Our Covers
Yes. Yes, we do. And trust us, you're going to want to read every single line.
Once Is Never Enough
I've never loved a book and read it only once. I've also never experienced sensational, mind-blowing sex and not desired to make it happen again.
We Get Sexier With Age
The body may fade over time, but the eyes of the book lover grow sexier with age. We read and invest in our minds and the lines of love and loss permeate our expressions. While the beauty of many decays, book lovers get more beautiful with every passing day. That's the kind of sexy you want in bed and it's definitely the kind of sexy you want to wake up to.