Marriage isn't meant to drag you down, but unfortunately, so many couples struggle to stay happy together because one key ingredient is missing: respect. But how do you know whether your partner respects you or not? Luckily, there are several signs your spouse has respect for you that will pretty much make it an open and shut case.
Although respect isn't the only important factor in marriage, it's certainly a quality that will make or break a relationship. In fact, an article from Psychology Today calls respect even more crucial than love. It's a bold statement and I tend to think that the two should go hand in hand, but there's no doubt that both are necessary for a happy marriage.
Whether you've been married for decades or months, respect should be a well established staple in your relationship. Obviously, respect has to go both ways for a marriage to be truly healthy — if your respect for each other is unbalanced, you'll be able to feel it.
Although respect has never been a real issue in my marriage, we've had our fair share of ups and downs. And our lowest points were always when our respect for each other wasn't our top priority. However, even in the hard times, respect shouldn't be thrown out the window. Use these signs to make sure your respect for each other stays in check — your marriage will be happier for it.
1. They Listen To You
And not just hearing what you say, but actually listening. According to Bustle, the signs of a good listener are things like asking questions, not rushing or interrupting you when you're talking, and giving you their full attention.
2. They Ask For Your Opinion
A partner who respects you will want your input for not only important decisions but small, everyday ones as well. This is a sign that they value you as an equal.
3. They're Honest About Everything
Even when it's hard, honesty conveys respect. As Warren Buffet wisely said, "Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people."
4. You Don't Feel Controlled
There's a huge difference between respecting someone and controlling them. If your partner tries to keep you from doing things or tells you what to do, it's a sure sign they don't respect or trust you. According to Psychology Today, if your partner uses guilt to keep you from doing things, or puts limits on their love, they are controlling you and definitely don't respect you the way they should.
5. They Don't Pressure You When You Say No
Whether it's something you don't feel comfortable with physically, or an outing your don't want to go on, Huffington Post noted that a partner should respect your answer and not push you to go further than you want to go.
6. They Don't Belittle You
Belittling can be verbal or non-verbal, but either way it's abusive. Whether your partner uses verbal insults, manipulation, or emotional coercion to make you feel less than, it's just something a respectful partner wouldn't do.
7. They Don't Micromanage
Similar to being controlling, a respectful partner won't try and micromanage every detail of your life. Dealing with quirks and flaws is part of being in a relationship — they should never try to change you.
8. They Encourage You To Be Better
Your partner should encourage you to be your best self In a non-pushy, loving way. Relationships are meant to built you up, not tear you down, and a respectful partner will do everything in their power to make that happen.
9. They Fight Fair
Part of a healthy relationship is knowing how to fight fair. An article from Huffington Post noted that, in a respectful relationship, each partner needs to recognize that neither are perfect. Things like knowing when to stop, not bringing up the past, and listening are imperative to fighting fair.
10. They Take Your Side
This certainly doesn't mean they will (or should) agree with everything you say and do, but a respecting partner will defend you and stand by you no matter what.
11. They Pull Their Weight Around The House
Respectful relationships are equally balanced, meaning no one partner has to shoulder a burden alone. Be it helping with the kids, cleaning up around the house, mowing the lawn, or handling finances — agreeing on a system that works for both of you will ensure that neither is handling more than they can manage.
12. You Feel Safe With Them
Not just physically safe, though that's important too, but emotionally safe. You should feel like anything you say (or don't say) will stay between the two of you.
13. You Never Worry About Them Being Unfaithful
The ultimate sign of disrespect is being cheated on. No matter what the excuse may be, there is never a time when it's respectful to cheat.