The only thing better than being in a wonderful, loving, exciting relationship, is being in a wonderful, loving, exciting relationship that's feminist. As a feminist who is still learning (like most feminists out there, I assume), sometimes it can be tricky to tell if the partner you're pursuing is a full blown feminist. Which is why it's good to look for signs you're in a feminist relationship, because if equality is important to you, you should definitely be in a feminist relationship.
Though some people are afraid of the F word, anyone who knows the definition knows that feminism is simply the notion than men and women should be socially, economically, and politically equal. That means that feminism isn't just for the workplace, or for politics. It's for your relationship. Being in a feminist relationship means you can rely on your partner to support you, to allow you to support them, and to treat you as an equal rather than a prize. The benefits of being in a feminist relationship are numerous, from the mutual respect and admiration, to the importance of sexual needs from both partners. Basically, feminist relationships are where it's at. Read on to see the signs that you're in a feminist relationship.
1. You Split Chores Down The Middle
Rather than relegating a woman to the kitchen and a man to the garage, feminist relationships split duties down the middle rather than relying on archaic expectations of gender stereotypes and who should do what when it comes to household chores.
2. You Have No Gender-Biased Expectations
Whether it's cooking, cleaning, paying the bills, doing the laundry, or entertaining your friends, neither of you have any gender-biased expectations about who's better at what. You both pitch in and share the responsibilities in your relationship.
3. Your Partner Isn't Intimidated By Your Accomplishments
Your degrees, your awards, your position at work — none of these intimidate your partner, even if your partner has less experience, accolades, or title than you. If your partner supports you and is proud of all that you've done without letting it intimidate them, you're in a feminist relationship.
4. You Don't Care Who Makes More Money
Who brings home the bigger bacon is never a point of contention between you. In an equal partnership, you respect each partner's contribution to the relationship and never feel like less of a person just because you're bringing home less of a paycheck. And vice versa, if you're the one with a more flush fiscal situation, your partner doesn't feel intimidated by your financial prowess.
5. Your Emotions Are Never Reduced To "Hormones"
Is there anything worse than your partner telling you you're acting "crazy" or that your emotions are probably just your "hormones"? A feminist partner would never insinuate that your emotions are somehow inferior or less stable because of your gender. Instead, they acknowledge your emotions and recognize your feelings.
6. You're Not Worried About Subverting Gender Stereotypes
There's no stress, no sweat, and no shame if your partner is a whiz in the kitchen and you prefer to use the cupboards for sweater storage. Or if you've got the magic touch when it comes to that dang lawn mower, and your partner can't seem to figure it out. If subverting gender stereotypes is no big deal in your relationship, then you're probably in a feminist relationship.
7. You Both Preach And Practice Consent
A big facet of feminism is the idea of consent, that all sexual interactions should be approved by both parties. If you and your partner both understand, appreciate, and respect one another's consent, you're well on your way to rocking out in a relationship that's all about equality.
8. You Don't Feel Objectified
Some partners have a way of making you feel like you're simply another conveniently located body for them. In feminist relationships? Not so. Your mind, your body, your personality, and everything in between is valued equally in a feminist relationship.
9. Your Partner Respects Your Opinion
If your partner not only respects your opinion, but appreciates it, and seeks it out? You've got a keeper. Having a partner who treats you as a mental equal when it comes to your opinion is feminist AF.
10. You Go "Dutch" On Things
Neither of you are afraid to chip in on the bill when you hit brunch, or go out to dinner with friends. One partner shouldn't be footing the bill through an entire relationship, regardless of your expectations on dating. Equality includes the economic regard, so don't be afraid to go splitsies.
11. You Both Feel Empowered
If you and your partner lift one another up consistently, and support one another equally — you've got yourself a feminist relationship. Empowering one another can be, well, seriously empowering.
12. Your Sexual Needs Are Equally As Important
There's no dominance when it comes to who should be pleasured first. You take turns, and you both recognize that your needs and wants are equally as important. Working together between the sheets to make sure you're both having a pleasurable experience is not only respectable, it's fun.
13. You Make Decisions Together
At the end of the day, you make decisions together. Because everyone has different opinions, expectations, and ideas, and no one person's are more important than the other. You recognize that you should discuss decisions with your partner, not only because it will help you both get what you want, but because you respect your partner.