Thanksgiving is a time for Americans to gather with their friends and family members and remember all of the things they are thankful for — all while consuming an exorbitant amount of calories and watching football, of course. But for everything that is heartwarming, loving, and special about the holiday, there are just as many things that can be awkward, stressful, and downright annoying. Whether you're looking forward to Thanksgiving or trying to find a reason to avoid it all together, you'll appreciate these Thanksgiving quotes that will remind you why we come to the table every year.
Growing up, my parent's house was the center of our family's Thanksgiving tradition. Everyone arrived on good terms, but once the adults finished their third glass of wine, you could always guarantee that a "healthy debate" would ensue. But once both sides had a chance to make their case, everyone managed to share dessert and laughs on the couch together.
If you're a little unsure about how you'll get through all of the political discourse that's bound to take place this year, read a few of these funny quotes that are sure to give you the extra nudge you need. And now that you can start your Black Friday shopping on Thursday, you have the perfect excuse to leave the table before your uncle starts talking about everything that's wrong with your generation.
1. "After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations." - Oscar Wilde
2. "I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage." - Erma Bombeck
3. "Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie." - Jim Davis
4. "Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants." -Kevin James
5. "On Thanksgiving day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment – halftime." - Unknown
6. “Every Thanksgiving I think about how much Pilgrims had to sacrifice just so we could have a day off work. ” — Melanie White
7. "Drink and be thankful to the host. What seems insignificant when you have it, is important when you need it." - Franz Grillparzer
8. "The earliest you can play Christmas music is on Thanksgiving." - Tinashe Read
9. "You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out." - Jay Leno
10. “Somehow, I feel that the spirit of Thanksgiving is at odds with beating someone up for a new flat screen on Black Friday. ” - Andy Borowitz
11. "Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before." —Rita Rudner
12. "I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online." - Kumail Nanjiani
13. "Thanksgiving just gets me all warm and tingly and all kinds of wonderful inside." - Willard Scott