The less-than-sexy truth of the matter is this: sometimes, your libido just falls behind. It's a little unrealistic to expect to be ready and raring to go for sex all of the time. And it is a total drag when your mind is ready, and raring to go, but your libido isn't quite there yet. That's why it's good to be armed with things to boost your libido, for when you need that extra something to get you going.
Whether you're in a sexual desert, your hormones are out of whack, or you're just not feeling it lately, there are a few things you can do every day to boost your libido and climb out of your sexual wasteland. Though a loss of sexual appetite can be attributed to many things — from birth control, to medication, to age, to depression, and much more — the following things you can do to boost your libido will help you figure out why you've been feeling so lackluster, and how to fix it. So rather than calling it quits and accepting your sexless fate, give some of these tricks a shot, and see where it takes you. If at the end of it all, you're still feeling depleted, it may be time to turn to your doctor for help.
1. Plan More Date Nights
If you're in a committed relationship, planning more date nights out can help give your sex drive a boost. OB-GYN Dr. Leah Millheiser told Health that rekindling your romance and getting out of your routine of staying in with sweatpants can give your libido the kick start it needs. According to Millheiser, it doesn't need to be grand, expensive, or outrageous. Simply heading to the movies, or going out for dinner can help to reignite the spark between you and your partner.
2. Try A Different Pill
Sometimes, your birth control can be behind your lack of sex drive. According to OB-GYN Lauren Streicher, hormonal changes play a big part in your sex drive. And essentially, birth control is a pill packed with hormones. On the Doctor Oz blog, Streicher recommended asking your doctor to prescribe you a lower estrogen pill, or a different brand in order to switch things up, and help your sex drive return.
3. Take A Break From The Pill
Streicher also suggested pursuing different kinds of birth control, including those outside of the pill. "Birth control pills are not the only way to prevent pregnancy," Streicher said. By seeking an alternate form of contraception, you can give your bloodstream a break, and give your body a chance to get back into its groove, sans extra hormones.
4. Check Your Medications
Birth control isn't the only pill that could be affecting your libido. According to Health, other common offenders include blood pressure medication, gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) medication, anxiety medication, and anti-depressants. Millheiser told Health that speaking with your doctor that prescribed the medicine is important, as "it's possible that another treatment may be used with fewer side effects."
5. Schedule Time For Intimacy
You schedule everything else in your life, so why not schedule time for intimacy? According to relationship counselor and therapist Elisabeth Graham, there's nothing wrong with scheduling in time for intimacy with your partner. "Often times when life gets busy, it's the most important things, like intimacy, that fall to the wayside," Graham tells me during an interview. "Scheduling specific times to be intimate with your partner ensures that you're both getting the attention and rejuvenation you need."
6. Get On The Aphrodisiac Train
Though the Food and Drug Administration will tell you that no foods can boost your libido, according to their research, WebMD doesn't see anything wrong with diving into the world of aphrodisiacs in the quest for better sex. From oysters, to chocolate, and a few unsuspecting ingredients in between, why not give a few sexy foods a shot? At the very least, you'll be eating well.
7. Lay Off The Booze
It could be booze that's diminishing your sex drive. According to the Mayo Clinic, one glass of wine can increase your interest in getting intimate, but two can ruin your ability to perform, and inhibit your ability to orgasm.
Stress is one of the most prominent factors when it comes to sex, as it can affect everything from your ability to orgasm to your ability to conceive. According to the Mayo Clinic, practicing activities such as tai chi or yoga can help relieve stress gently, and in turn, can benefit your sex life in a big way.
9. Set The Mood
When you're in a long term relationship, it can be easy to let the magic and romance slip away from the bedroom — especially if you've got kids or animals crawling in with you. Millheiser told Health that prioritizing privacy in the bedroom and making it a special place for you and your partner will help both of you feel more relaxed and ready for romance.
10. Invest In A Good Lubricant
If sex is painful for you, it's going to be low on your list of priorities and desires. One of the leading causes of sexual pain is dryness during intercourse. According to Everyday Health, using a silicone-based sexual lubricant can help you ease into feeling sexy again.
11. Try Cleaning Up Your Diet
Yes, your diet can absolutely help you get in the mood. Not with aphrodisiacs, but with a heart-healthy diet. According to a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, researchers found a correlation between high cholesterol and difficulty achieving orgasm. According to the study, this is because cholesterol prevents blood from flowing freely, leading to less sensation during sexy time. To improve your sex drive (and your diet), ask your doctor about ways to lower your cholesterol.
12. Look Beyond The Bedroom
A diminished sex drive could be a sign of deeper problems in your relationship. Graham says bottled up resentment, lack of communication, anger, grief, all of these things can affect your desire for sex. "If your relationship is suffering outside of the bedroom as well as in, you may want to seek out therapy to help guide you and your partner through your difficulties." If your problems are only in the bedroom, check out a sex therapist to help you find a way through your low libido.
13. Listen To Your Body
Sometimes, a low libido can be a symptom of a bigger medical problem. If your change in sexual desires is accompanied with other side effects, such as fatigue, hair loss, dry skin, and weight gain — you may be suffering from a thyroid problem. According to the American Thyroid Association, an estimated 20 million Americans suffer from a thyroid problem, and approximately 60 percent don't even know it. If you think you may be suffering from a problem larger than just your libido, talk to your doctor about your symptoms, and seek their help to get to the bottom of your ailment.
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