After long stretches of time together, a couple can fall into a ho-hum rhythm. Looking back, it feels like the two of your went from steamy make out sessions to sweatpants and Netflix in less time than it takes to get a passport. Add to that sharing a bathroom and the thrill is, most definitely, gone. But hey, don't panic, it happens all the time, and there are plenty of ways to get your marriage out of a rut that can bring back those butterflies that once frequented your stomach.
Little bumps in the road are bound to happen more than once when you're with someone for the long haul. Just because the marriage is experiencing a dip doesn't mean it's time to call it quits. These are the moments in your relationship when you both need to reevaluate yourselves and your marriage, and get busy making an effort to bring back the spark. Even though that burning flame of your love may have become buried under a pile of shared responsibilities, daily routines, and too many nights of take out, it's still kindled in there somewhere. Investing in your relationship time and again is like striking a match and setting your love life ablaze.
To get your marriage out of a rut, take some of these 13 ideas as inspiration and put your own spin them to bring back the bow-chicka-bow-bow.
1Get It On
Spice things up in the bedroom to reconnect with your partner. As Glamour magazine pointed out, sex is a crucial element of relationships and one thing that is definitely worth investing in. Don't be afraid to schedule and plan a romp to start getting out of a rut.
2Change Your Ammo
Does it feel like you and your spouse have the same fight on a replay loop? If you're never finding resolution, it's time to change up how you're handling the situation. According to Women's Health magazine, you can't continue to argue the same way if it's not solving the problem. Take some time to evaluate what's happening, then switch up your approach.
3Bust Out Of The Grind
Sharing a life often means sharing the workload and responsibilities of a household. Make the most of chores and errands by using that time to talk about your goals, hopes, and dreams with your partner, as suggested by Real Simple. Taking turns talking about what you envision down the road will help to bring your closer.
Everyday busyness mixed in with work and kids can make it hard for my husband and I to have a one-on-one discussion. Often, we find date nights to be way for effective (and fun) than trying to connect on the couch after a long day. Spending some time alone and away from the house and it's distractions, give us the opportunity to chat and laugh together in a meaningful way.
5Give Yourself Some Love
In order to give of yourself in a marriage, you need to make sure your personal tank is full of love as well. Self-love can be overlooked, but needs to be tended to in order to make relationships work, according to the website for O magazine.
6Hang With Friends
Pushing through a rut can be easier with a little help from your friends. According to Men's Health magazine, spending time together socially can be good for your relationship, because it gives you an opportunity to see each other in a different light and remember pieces of your spouse that you may have forgotten you are attracted to.
7Revisit An Old Fave
If you and your spouse used to spend all weekend tearing up the dance floor, it may be time to plan a night of booty shaking. Revisiting a favorite activity the two of you enjoyed together in the early days will make you remember those fun times as well as make some new memories doing something you both find fun.
Don't let the art of flirting die — send a sassy text to your spouse to keep the spark going. As Parenting magazine suggested, try to have at least one flirty exchange a day to counter all those that have to do with daily life stuff.
Breaking through a rut could be as simple as sharing more belly laughs together. "There is nothing sexier than a smile and a happy partner,"According to the website for relationship expert Dr. Laura. "It's hard to feel juicy about a Debbie Downer."
Break up the monotony of everyday with a few fun surprises. Have a gift sent to work, make their favorite dessert for no reason, or fold your spouse's laundry and put it away — any small gesture with the element of surprise can help you both feel the warm fuzzies.
Being taken for granted doesn't feel sexy. Point out the positive more than the negative to keep your marriage strong. According to Redbook magazine, the magic formula is 20 positive moments to every negative one.
Write each other little notes with reminders of your love. To add a little fun to this note-passing gesture, place it in an unexpected place to catch your partner off guard, as suggested by Parents magazine.
13Hug It Out
If you want to get through a rut in your marriage, extend the length of your hugs. According to Woman's Day magazine, the feel good hormone oxytocin releases when we touch, but it also helps our brain emotionally connect to the person we're embracing. Make it count and hug it up for at least two minutes per squeeze.