13 Ways Your Friends Are Subtly Shaming Your Parenting
byAutumn Jones
Parenting styles are a lot like jeans; there are many options to choose from and you may have to try multiple ones on before finding what fits just right. Due to the plethora of parenting options and choices, it's inevitable that your views are going to clash with those of your friends. After all, parenting is something that many people consider quite personal, and passions over methods and ideologies can make for some uncomfortable disagreements. Hopefully, you'll learn how to respect one another's differences, but you may start to sense ways your friends are subtly shaming your parenting, which could mean your friendship is headed for splitsville.
Most people don't want to outright shame a friend, so they try to create some smoke and mirrors around the jabs and agenda pushing. But I can't say I'm not guilty of subconsciously letting a few subtle shame bombs slip. As psychotherapist Alyson Schafer told Today's Parent, “in order for us to feel confident with our choices, we have to believe that the other ways are wrong.” We reinforce our rightness to ourself, by making others feel like they're the one who hasn't figured it out — sometimes in very subtle ways that feel a lot like shaming.
You may have been suspicious that some of your friends were shaming the way you parent. If any of these 13 examples sound familiar, it's time to have an honest talk with your friend, or just call it quits.