A parents' day is a freakin' long one. It starts earlier than most (because I'm pretty sure kids are the ones who wake up the roosters, at this point) and has either work or the all-day company of a child in the middle (both of which can be emotionally and physically demanding). Then, after dinner is argued over and, hopefully, eaten and the sun sinks in the sky, realness looms. I'm talking about the bedtime routine. Yes, the soul-crushing battle that caps off the end of an already exhausting day. Look kid, there are bedtime rules every moms needs her kid to follow. We give you food, shelter, love, and toys, so I think it's more than fair to ask that you hold up your end of that social contract you, in my mind, signed in the womb.
Bedtime can be tough, guys, and the fact that we cannot fathom how our children would willingly reject an opportunity to sleep makes it all the more embittered and maddening. It's like, "I am giving you something I want more than anything on Earth, my beloved little one. Here. Enjoy!" and they're like, "No! I hate you! Now give me all your other hopes and dreams so I can fart on them and throw them in the diaper genie."
Still, you're the parent, and, eventually, they will have to listen to you. They can ultimately never win this battle, no matter how valiant their efforts may be. Sleep, in all its beauty and majesty, always wins. As such, parents will always win, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes. So, children, just remember, this will all go down easier for everyone if you follow these simple rules: