Batman has the Bat Cave; Superman has his Fortress of Solitude; Ruth Bader Ginsberg, I imagine, escapes stress and hatches her brilliant feminist schemes from some sort of bucolic egalitarian paradise she enters via a magic mirror (or something). For new moms seeking refuge from the trials and tribulations of parenthood, they have the bathroom. Yes, welcome to parenthood, new mom hiding in the bathroom. Welcome, indeed. Especially if you are currently (and not improbably) a new mom reading this from the bathroom. Don't worry. There are no hidden cameras in your lavatory that enable me to see you, it's just that we've all been there. We feel you, girl.
Here are a couple things you should know, friend: escaping into the solace of your washroom may be new to you, but it's not a phase. Now that you're a mom, you'll be doing this kind of thing a lot. For years. For-maybe-freakin'-ever. In fact, you may even do on a more frequent and necessary basis, once your children are toddlers and try to follow you places. As annoying as it may be, initially, to have the place where you, um, "expel," be your place of refuge, eventually and quickly you grow accustomed to the routine. Suddenly you no longer wonder why your partner has spent years and years engaging in 30 minute poop sessions. It's just so calm and quiet in there, so it all makes sense.
So, for those of you who don't know or are yet to become a new mom and are mildly concerned about all the time we spend in there, here are 15 things every new mom is doing when she is hiding in the bathroom. I promise, she's okay and, honestly, you should just leave her alone and give her some much-deserved space.