The world belongs to Jeff Bezos and we're all just here waiting for our favorite moisturizer to go on sale. It's the last hours of Amazon Prime Day, y'all, and you'd better whip out your highest-limit credit card because I'm about to be the devil on your shoulder whispering tales of deeply-discounted dolls and books. Basically, there are some Prime Day deals you don't want to miss, and I have chosen them for you based on value, popularity, and reviews. OK, and some of them are just things I think you need more than you know.
Yesterday delivered the world a real punch when Amazon's site crashed for hours, emptying many of our carts and breaking our discount-loving hearts. Thankfully, it seems as though they've patched up that particular bug, and we're now free to play fast and loose with our dollars. The deals are only for Prime members, but you can take advantage of these deals by signing up for a free 30-day membership today, and then choose whether or not you want to keep paying the $13 per month fee for the service. Since Prime allows me to not only store my photos, but listen to music, rewatch every episode of Parks and Recreation, as well as ship me my tampons, I'd be lying to myself if I ever tried to quit.
1Mrs. Meyers Clean Day
This is the concentrate, guys. $11 seems like a lot for a couple of bottles of spray cleaner, but this makes one gallon of liquid for every quarter cup. Each bottle of this concentrate gives you 16 gallons of product. The geranium scent is light and fresh, and Mrs. Meyer's is particularly gentle.
This deal not only gets you Keurig's new K-Elite machine that makes hot and iced coffee with a good, strong brew, but it also comes with 44 K-cup pods from Laughing Man Hulia coffee. That's a significant savings. Buy it and get brewing, y'all.
3Stone & Beam Duvet Cover
I have this very duvet cover in a different color. It's the softest duvet I've ever owned, and it was over $160 when I bought it, so this is a significant savings. It washes like a dream and the buttons are hidden. My favorite part about these linens is that they're so breathable, which is entirely needed on a super hot day like today.
4The Body Shop Tea Tree Facial Cleanser
This is my go-to cleanser in the summer. I get oily and greasy and gross with the humidity, and this cleanser prevents spots from popping up without drying me out. It's also really good around that time of the month when my skin looks like it's going through puberty all over again. This is also from The Body Shop, and it smells great and rinses clean.
This is a great sports watch and step-keeper. It even has Garmin Pay, which functions much like Apple or Samsung Pay, so you don't have to work out with your wallet. It also, you know, keeps time, so there's that.
6VI&VI Vi Sense Wireless Headphones
We live in the future, guys. These headphones are not just headphones. They're a fitness tracker, a personal trainer, and an AI companion on your workout that will feed you bio stats and help you complete your workout. It will pace check you if you run. I don't know if it makes coffee, but maybe in the update.
7Kodak Verite Wireless Color Photo Inkjet Printer
Please, please print all those photos. They're not bringing you enjoyment on a thumb drive or in the cloud. Hang them on the wall, put them in a scrapbook, let your kids go through the pictures of themselves as babies. But please, print them out. This is a pretty good printer, especially for the price.
I hate vacuuming. I have pets, and I have carpets and hard floors. I just one-clicked this, and I'm not going to lie, I'm going to put my black cat in a Batman costume and try to get her to ride around on it. But the Roomba can also be powered by Alexa, so if you really want to feel fancy, make sure you work with that function.
This console bundle comes with a ton of stuff for the money. As per Amazon, the "bundle includes: Xbox One S 1TB Console, wireless Controller, three months of Xbox game Pass, three months of Xbox live Gold, HDMI cable (4K Capable), and AC power Cable. Get instant access to over 100 great games carefully curated for high quality and fun gameplay with three months of Xbox Game Pass." That right there is $30. I know this because you have to have it to play Fortnite, and my son is incredibly obsessed with that game.
This blender is a beast and it will purée anything. That's why it's normally about 100 bucks. Today it's half that and worth much more. It's great for making baby food or soup, and it could probably turn a Doc Marten and beer into a smoothie if you were so inclined. But why waste the beer?
I use mine every day, so it's totally worth any price, but this deal is epic. I actually use it with the above tea tree oil cleanser, and it's the cleanest your face will ever feel. You can use it in the shower or over the sink. (It also doubles as a cat repeller as mine seem to be terrified of it. Bonus.)
12PlayMonster 5 Second Rule Uncensored
This game is hilarious — it's in the same vein as Exploding Kittens and Cards Against Humanity. It's the perfect thing to play at the barbecue or when you have a few friends over, so open a bottle of wine and then quickly think of ways to cover a fart.
You can't turn around these days without hearing about the glories of the air fryer. Honestly, it's 2018's Instant Pot. All the crispy cooking of frying with none of the oil? Sign me up. This model is highly rated and deeply discounted on Amazon Prime Day if you're ready to try it out.
I'll admit, I am posting this in anger. I have a cluster of mosquito bites on the back of my leg that is irritating the mess out of me, but I may have avoided this fate had I walked with a battery-operated bug zapper. I can just imagine the satisfying sizzle as the body of my enemy made contact with my deadly tennis racket of doom. It's also apparently safe for humans to touch, so that's good. (Because when I was a kid, I'd have totally hit my brother with this.) Get one for your summer nights so you can stay bug-free.
15Pico Pro Craft Beer Brewing Appliance for Homebrewing
This is the weird splurge item I had to add because I have always wanted to brew my own beer. I've made my own wine, brewed my own bitters, and distilled my own Limoncello, but I've never made my own beer, and it's my favorite drink after coffee and tea. This would be a killer gift for a beer lover in your family. Maybe your Dad's retiring from work, or your sister is getting married and hasn't registered for anything because she and her fiancé hate asking people for stuff and it's borderline annoying. Whatever. This setup is awesome. There are a million websites out there devoted to recipes, and I want to drink all of them.