15 Kinds Of Kid Photos Every Parent Has On Their Phone At Any Given Moment
What a time to be alive! We share a planet with streaming television, the Hemsworth brothers, gummy vitamins that taste like candy, and camera phones. Thanks to my own device, I'm pretty sure that I've taken more photos of my son in his first eighteen months than my parents took during my entire childhood (and that should say more about my irrationality than theirs). I've filled up multiple cloud spaces, had to increase my storage plan, and purchased a new hard drive just to back up everything. I know, it's ridiculous. I'm not here for your judgment.
Though I struggle with how often my little sees me reaching for my phone, I love being able to capture even the smallest of moments. His baby book is shamefully sparse (which is kinda weird if you think about it, since I am a writer), but the visual catalog of memories and milestones we have is bursting. And hey, all the pictures are saved by date, so we can always go back in and fill out his book later. (I'm sure there will be tons of free time for that someday, right?)
I know I'm not the only parent who uses a phone as the go-to device to document my kiddo's early years. In fact, my hunch is that I'm in the majority, and that those of us who share this tendency have probably captured several similar moments. Here's a list of some of them that we've all kept:
The "I Don't Know What's Happening Here, But I Love It And Saved It Anyway" Shot
I like to call this one "Still Life With Toddler." Though, it's a bit deceiving since his shirt is cleaner than usual, but still you get the idea.
The "Blurry, But Can Still Pass As Cute" Shot
Yes, I was trying to somehow make the concept of a candid selfie work, and yes, I now understand that it's impossible. But, at least I got this cute image of my son laughing so hard he's blurry, so.
After you see this photo, you die in seven days.
The Mediocre Attempt At Art
I think I was trying to capture something that had to do with his childlike innocence, the spherical, never-ending cycle of life, and how he's stepping on the leaves like we are all stepped on by modern technology.
But really he was just playing in a park this one time.
The "Keep Trying, Maybe He'll Cooperate" Shot
We are all my toddler sliding out of his dad's lap after a long day.
The "Neither of Us Is Cooperating" Shot
The Seasonal Shot
Last month, it was pumpkins. This month, it'll probably be him next to a turkey. Next month? Next month, my entire camera roll is going to turn into Winter Wonderland.
OK, maybe not everyone has this photo, but he's holding a stick like a wand so I had to share it. And honestly, all parents should have at least one Harry Potter-themed photo of their kids in their phone at any given moment.
The "OMG My Kid is Already Way Cooler Than I Am" Shot
Please tell me other moms have a photo like this...please?
The One Where They Look Way More Peaceful And Calm Than They Ever Do In Real Life, Which You Like To Stare At And Idealize Them Whem They're Not Around
Yes, please view this image and think of my son as someone who thoughtfully strolls down gravel paths at our neighborhood park on the regular.
The One Where They Are Making A Dumb Face But You Look Like The Beyoncé Version Of Yourself
Ugh, I couldn't bring myself to publicly post a bad shot of my kiddo just for the sake of including the cute angle of me, so here are some pandas. But rest assured, this picture does exist and I look like how we would all look if Glamour Shots salons took candids outside, while my son looks like I'm force feeding him lemons.
The Milestone Shot
I took a picture of some pictures because it was the first artwork that he brought home from school. And, yes, I posted it on Facebook. #notsorry
The One Where They're Making A Weirdly Grown-Up Face So You Keep It Because It Weirds You Out In A Good Way
Is it just me, or does this one look like it should be a senior picture? Like, the next one in the camera roll is of him nonchalantly leaning against a tree, followed by one of him playfully peeking out from around the trunk.
The One Where They're Wearing An Ugly Shirt That A Relative Gifted Them, Which You Only Made Them Wear Long Enough To Take The Photo And Send It To Said Relative As Proof That They Wore The Ugly Shirt, Which Again, They Definitely Did Not
Yeah, no. I'm afraid I will not be going on the record here with an example because my relatives know how to use the internet. So, here's another panda GIF instead.
The One Where They Look Clean And Well-Behaved (AKA, The One You Send To The Grandparents So They Think You're A Good Mom)
Oh hey, here's a picture of my son siting calmly in a restaurant. This ~totally~ happens all the time.
Images: Dena Ogden(13), Giphy(2)