Sex. Sex is great. Fabulous, even! I’ve been a big fan since I was a teenager. Sometimes, when you have sex, you get pregnant, and often when you get pregnant, you wind up having kids, which is cool, except… remember all that fabulous sex you were having? Yeah, that’s going to start to be a bit of a challenge.
It’s a cliché, but it’s a cliché for a reason: Kids are totally bang-blockers. I don’t think they mean to be. Evolutionarily speaking, there’s probably a reason for it. Like, the kid is all, “They can’t have another baby! I need all their attention and resources. Hmmm… I know. If I prevent them from ever having sex ever again then I won’t have a sibling and if I don’t have a sibling I have no competition. Mwa ha ha ha ha.” It doesn't occur to the dumb, beautiful kid that maybe their parents don't even procreate via sex, so they are really just stopping everyone from having a good time. So while we get where kids might be subconsciously coming from is they are truly trying to keep us from having sex, this never worked out especially great for same-sex parents, and now straight couples have condoms, the pill, IUDs, vasectomies, and basically endless ways to prevent another baby from coming out of their copulation, so these days, kids are just being tiny, boner-killing jerks.
While most couples find creative solutions to this problem, figuring out clever ways to sneak in some boom-boom time, there is no universal advice to get everyone through this very real parenting challenge. Switching up times doesn’t really work. For example, morning sex is not an option in my house. Two kids waking up at completely unpredictable times + two non-morning people = less-than-ideal sex-nario. Afternoon sex is also out because even though our daughter naps, our son provides no such courtesy. “Couldn’t you just sit him down in front of an activity or movie?” you ask. Ha! Even in such a situation, he routinely checks in on what we are doing or asks for snacks, or whatever. It’s too risky.
Our oft-thwarted attempts tend to happen in very much the same way, and I know I’m not alone in this emotional rollercoaster.