Truth be told, my biggest vice is a latte from a local coffee shop I visit every single day. The baristas have become a second family and if I ever had to go without, my day would be totally ruined. I'd give this up if it meant avoiding the whole "letting my toddler help" situation, though.

I'm not as worried at what my daughter might choose. She's 10 and kind of a fashionista. My son, however, would put me in a bathing suit, tights, and a tutu. I'd rather wear than than let him "help" me fold laundry (which essentially means tossing the piles everywhere).

I'm a comfort kind of gal so the mere thought of heels makes me cringe. I'll wear them to a formal event (because I have to) but otherwise, nope. I'd rather run a marathon in heels than let me toddler run the vacuum again.

I'm only fluent in English but I'll take dedicated classes to learn others if I can escape my son's desire to "help" wipe the counter (which means he'll use half a bottle of cleaner).

My oldest cat is over 15 years old. As a result she's mean, cranky, and like most cats, hates water. I've had to give her baths before and never leave unscathed. I'd rather do it every damn day than let my toddler pick up a mess (that he really just shoves into a corner).

If I do this, I can say, truthfully, that I don't need the help because I'm paying someone to do those things. If only, right?

I hate grocery shopping, big crowds, crowds inside the grocery store, and really just leaving my house in general. If there's a holiday or big event, like the Super Bowl? Forget it. However, I'll do it if it means I can cook dinner without my toddler's fingers getting into all the prep work.

I have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), which can make what people describe as "normal" tasks, complicated. Some things have to be very exact or precise (as with schedules and certain routines) but others (such as my ridiculously messy desk, cabinets, and closet) not so much. However, I'll dive in and rearrange my desk until if my toddler let's me do it alone.

Among a long list of fears, I must say that I am terrified of stepping foot into the ocean. I love the beach — as in sitting on the sand and watching the waves — but I refuse to dip my toes into that "kill" water. Things live in there, you guys.

However, instead of allowing my toddler to "help" put groceries away (in paces they don't go), I'll throw on the swimsuit he probably wanted me to wear anyway and dive into open water.

Ugh. Talking on the phone is the worst. Unless it's about my career (as a writer), I don't want to. We have so many other methods of communication now and things can be conveyed just fine through those channels. The day my toddler asks to "help" clean the bathroom (toilet scrubbing and all), I'll sooner go through my contacts and work my way down the list before that happens. Prepare yourselves now.

Another of my fears happens to be pretty much all reptiles. I get that some people love them and have them as pets, but they're just not me. I'd rather let you drape a snake around my shoulder a 'la Britney Spears than give my toddler the task of raking the leaves (that he just jumps in anyway).

Sometimes I want to let my son "help" out. No, seriously. I really do. I love that he wants responsibility and, most days, I let him have what he can handle. When he crosses into my territory, i.e. things I prefer to do, I'd much rather delay my response with "maybe later" or "after I do x." That way, I'm not directly denying him and therefore become "a monster of a mother."

Plus, by the time "later" rolls around, he's over it.

I used to sell vacuums door-to-door, and it was awful. I only sold one (to my darling aunt and uncle) and made almost no money. Everything about it was far out of my comfort zone, but I took the position at a time when I was desperate. I'd never go back to that, unless my toddler wanted to "help" clean the cat litter (that will end up everywhere). In that case, I'll get selling.

Another tactic I use is to keep my son busy. If he's asked to "help" with something, and I really don't want the extra hassle, I'd rather add unnecessary things to my to-do list — like put gas in the car, run to the post office, or even drive through the car wash — to, again, delay his request. Yes, I realize this, too, eats up my time and energy.

One of the greatest joys of motherhood is the lie. "Of course you can help all you want, sweetheart. Just as soon as the purple moon is out. My app says it should be next Tuesday."

Hey, I might not win Mother Of The Year or anything, but I promise the next time my toddler wants to "help" me with something, I'll let him.

Gotcha. Yeah, that was a lie, too. #MomWin