Do you know anyone with a vagina who enjoys going to the gynecologist? Sure, maybe you like your gynecologist well enough. Maybe they even delivered your baby and so they have taken on an important role in your life. But here's the thing: Either you're going for routine ladybits maintenance, which will involve probing that your healthcare provider will describe as "a little uncomfortable" but is actually really super uncomfortable, or you're going because something is amiss. Either way, boo.
My grandma used to tell me about how, in the '60s, a lot of women wore wigs and hairpieces and instead of going to the salon, they would just send their wigs out to be done for a party or whatever. Wouldn't it be cool if we could do that with our vaginas?! Just find some way to send your vagina out for a tune-up or whatever while you, like, read a book or go to a spa or something. Science, can we make this happen? I'm skeptical of the fact that we put robots on Mars, and yet my time at the vaj doctor still has to be so unpleasant. Until we can figure all this nonsense out, any situation that usually entails one person getting naked from the waist down and spreading their legs while another person takes a peek is basically reaching critical mass for awkwardness. Here, 16 women were kind enough to share their most awkward gynecological adventures with me below.
E, 33
"Your vagina is beautiful." Really?! Who says that?! Ummm, thanks? Here's the thing: It has happened with more than one doctor!
Kara, 34
"I was expecting my second child, and I had my initial appointment to get a pap and just do paperwork. The nurse asked did I mind if the medical student working with them came in to help/observe — no problem. The PA came in with said medical student, introduced him, and told me he was studying podiatry. This poor guy, who wants to be a foot doctor then does my pap exam, and was kind of awkward about it. As it happens, I have a toe on my right foot that is crooked (I was born that way) he noticed and thought it was the most fascinating thing he'd seen. Naturally, he was much more interested in that than in giving me a pap exam. Why a podiatry major needs to have a OB/GYN rotation is beyond me, but at least he enjoyed my toe."
Tracy, 39
When I was 8 months pregnant, I went into the bathroom to pee in the cup. I had to stop, mid-pee, as the cup was getting a bit full. Put it on the ground, finished peeing, stood up... And kicked the damn cup over. It spread everywhere and went under the damn door! I was mortified, sweating from bending over to clean everything up. I just left the bathroom and was all, "Sorry! Gave it my best effort, but don't have to go!"
[Writer's note: So many of the answers I received to this question were pee cup related, particularly in conjunction with pregnancy. So many. Damn those awful tiny cups and bellies that prevent a view of the vulva.]
"Going in because I was exhausted and couldn't find my tampon. [I arrived] a hot mess to find out there isn't a tampon and I couldn't for the life me remember seeing it come out or ever finding it."