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17 Supposedly Good Things That In No Way Compare To Oral Sex

I'm all about the pleasure principle. Many things bring me joy, because life is too short not to indulge. And I often indulge in supposedly good things that in no way compare to oral sex. That's right, you heard me. Oral sex — whether giving or receiving — is just about the best indulgence on earth. And there's the obvious reason oral is so good — it makes you feel good. According to Psychology Today, both the head of the penis and the clit each contain over 7,000 sensory nerve endings, making these body parts super sensitive. Fondled directly with a tongue, the clit or glans sends a message of pleasure to the brain, like, "Wow, I'm loving this!"

Aside from the scientific rationale for why oral feels so good, there's also a psycho-emotional factor. At least for me. When my partner is focussing all attention on me, I feel like a queen. Legs spread and reclining in my happy place, I can't think of a better way to spend the day... or night. True, there are some other awesome things in life that deserve props. These supposedly really good things are the bomb dot com, but they in no way compare to oral sex.


Cherry Cola

There's no cancer-causing red dye in your girl's "cherry" pie. Just natural flavor.


A Nathan's Hot Dog With All The Works

Although it may be barbecue season and hot dogs are all around, semen contains a natural antidepressant, according to NBC. Other wieners don't have the same ingredients.


Tickets To See Adele

Um, hello?


Playing The Saxophone

When you hit all your partner's notes, no feeling compares.


Licking The Cream Out Of Oreos

No crumbs in bed. Just saying.


Watching Beyoncé's 'Lemonade'

"I ain't thinking 'bout you..." During oral, I'm not thinking at all. The brain needs a rest.


A Glass Of Cabernet

No hangover with oral.


Watching 'Blue Valentine'

Yes, it's really hot to see Ryan Gosling go down on Michelle Williams. But IRL sex always trumps what's on the screen.


Watching Your Favorite Team Win The Big Game

You score way better in bed (or wherever oral occurs.)


Chocolate Cake

Self noted that a sugar high will make you crash and burn, while the neurotransmitters that flood your brain during sexual arousal will keep you happy, and, might even forge feelings of love, according to Medical Daily.


Landing A Promotion

Did you know that sexual arousal keeps your brain active? So while you might think oral is just about fun, it's actually keeping you on your game. According to Medical Daily, the areas of the brain affected by sexual arousal include the amygdala, cerebellum, and the pituitary gland, all which help mitigate anxiety. That new promotion, not so much.


A Trip Around The World

Not only is oral way cheaper, but oh, the places you'll go. Rather than getting reward miles, your brain is reaping the rewards of oral stimulation, by producing tons of dopamine, according to Health.


A Fantastic Gym Session

According to Woman's Day, giving oral sex can burn up to 100 calories per 30 minutes.


Playing With Puppies

Puppies are a handful. And if you're on the receiving end of oral, you're hands are free.


A Day At The Beach

No SPF needed for the heat between the sheets.


A Steamy Shower

Think of the planet. Conserve water.


Screaming Obscenities

According to Time, cursing brings you closer to your emotions. But, hey, if your lover is OK with it, why not combine these two?