19 Thoughts You Have When You're Pregnant On New Year's Eve
Having been there twice, I can attest to the fact that being pregnant on New Year’s Eve is not all that fun. Of course, it’s more fun than, say, having the stomach flu, but perhaps I can only say that because I didn’t ever suffer from hyperemesis gravidarum — for some women, being pregnant is a lot like having the stomach flu. But even if that's not the case for you, being full of fetus as the calendar turns over is a unique experience, probably because there's almost no part of pregnancy that fits into our previously known notions of what New Year's Eve is all about.
No matter how much alcohol you normally consume, there’s a feeling of deprivation you often end up with when you absolutely can’t drink on a night when pretty much everyone is going to be having at least one drink. Sure, you can distract yourself by thinking that you have an important job to do, namely growing a human being, while your friends (or family) are in the midst of shenanigans, but like, you kinda want the shenanigans! Even the most important jobs deserve a night off from time to time, right? Even the people who are least prone to going out partying might find themselves a bit wistful on New Year's Eve, when their pregnancy prevents drinking, and their general exhaustion prevents running around town all night, booze or no booze.
Potential bitterness aside, New Years is a great time for reflection and for choosing the path you want to follow in the coming year. The fact that you’re bringing a new life into the world is a great reason to spend a little more time doing this, whether it’s your first or your fourth child. And let’s face it, not waking up on January 1 with a monstrous hangover? Eh, not the worst way to start a new year.
Or you could just spend the evening being bitter. I won’t judge. I’ve been there. Either way, here are some thoughts you'll have when you're pregnant on New Year's Eve.
OK, You're Not Going To Sit On The Bench Just Because You're Knocked Up. You're Doing This.
"My Christmas party outfit already doesn’t fit. How is that possible?"
"Can I wear yoga pants to this party?"
"Maybe if I just wear sparkly makeup, no one will notice I’m wearing activewear."
Eh... Maybe Not. Maybe You'll Just Stay Home.
"Can I maybe just stay home and #Netflixandchill?"
"Wait, that’s what got me into this mess."
"Please don’t make me stay up until midnight..."
"Seriously, I could just binge watch Gilmore Girls."
But You Make It To The Party Because You're A Champion
"Seriously, who puts out just one round of brie?"
"Sparkling apple cider does not taste as good as champagne."
"I wonder if anyone would notice if I turned on the TV…"
"...or went to the host’s bedroom and had a little nap…"
"If I have to officiate one more round of charades because I’m the only one who can still count, I will lose my mind."
Why Is Midnight Suddenly Taking Forever To Get Here?
"I hope there’s another round of party food coming out."
"I don't recall midnight taking so long to arrive before I was pregnant."
"Growing a human is exhausting."
"Forget it, if I have to stay to drive my partner home, I’m going to have a nap."
Finally, The Ball Drops
"I did it! I love my life, I love my friends, I love my baby! Happy New Year, Babyfriend in there!"
"I deserve a goddamn medal for making it this far in the night, especially in these shoes. Hell, in any shoes. It's midnight and I'm pregnant and I kept my shoes on!"
"OK, it's time for the other ball to drop. And my "ball" I mean "my giant belly" and by "drop" I mean "go tf to sleep.""