Life
You embossed carbuncle!
If you have children, or maybe you're just in polite company, sometimes you have to get creative with your words. My partner and I learned quickly that little kids pick up and repeat everything — and I mean everything — they hear, and often say it at the most inopportune time, too. That's why there are so many hilarious old-fashioned insults to bring back because censoring yourself with the same G-rated lines can be boring. Besides being safe for little ears, plenty of the one liners and zingers my grandmother would lob at my grandfather were downright clever. They just don't make insults anymore like they used to, am I right?
Rather than checking out dusty books from the library in the hopes of stumbling across a particularly biting gem, there's a world full of information waiting at your fingertips. Though some of the things your grandparents say might be a bit out of touch with what's considered appropriate or politically correct nowadays, I'd bet you'd be surprised if you asked them what some of their favorite insults are. So if you're looking to bring back some old-fashioned snappy comebacks, then look no further than these burns from a bygone era.
10
Grumbletonian
This is actually pretty self-explanatory. As Green's Dictionary noted, a grumbletonian is a person who grumbles or complains, especially when it comes to political topics.
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Ultracrepidarian
According to Merriam-Webster, an ultracrepidarian is, "one who is presumptuous and offers advice or opinions beyond one’s sphere of knowledge." Basically, a know-it-all who actually knows nothing.
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Duke Of Limbs
This might be my new favorite. According to Green's Dictionary, the Duke of Limbs is a person who is awkward, particularly when it comes to being physically clumsy.
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Nigmenog
There's no real history behind this one, but a nigmenog is a very silly person, according to The 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. The next time you think someone is being ridiculous, you might want to try this equally hilarious insult.
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Prickmedainty
Do you know someone who thinks they're God's gift to the world? As Merriam-Webster noted, a prickmedainty is a person who is preoccupied with their appearance and often considered foolish for doing so.
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Moyshe Kapoyer
Another one from YiddishDictionaryOnline.com, someone who can't get their stuff together is a moyshe kapoyer. What a mess.
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Thou dost infect my eyes!
From Shakespeare's King Richard III, the full insult is, "out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes." How much must someone offend you that their mere presence would hurt your eyes?
Richard III, $5, Amazon
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Out at the elbows!
According to The 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, you can really burn someone by pointing out they're in dire circumstances or, "out at the elbows." No clue what elbows have to do with it, though.
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Flibbertigibbet
The next time someone is talking nonsense, you can say, "that's flibbertigibbet," and really burst their bubble, as Merriam-Webster noted.
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Fopdoodle
Simply put, to call someone, "fopdoodle," is to say they're a fool, according to Green's Dictionary.
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Cupboard-Lover
The term "cupboard-lover" is a sly way to call someone fake, as Merriam-Webster noted. Apparently, the saying comes from a person being nice to you with the sole intent of gaining access to the food in your pantry.
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Rumbumptious
To be rumbumptious is to be offensive, unruly, and stuck-up, according to The 1811 Dictionary of Vulgar Tongue. The next time someone is being particularly annoying, you can hurl this nifty insult their way.
Try one of these old-fashioned insults next time you really need a good zinger.