Between the ages of 12 and 16, I’m pretty sure that I held my breath every time the phone rang. There was so much promise, so much possibility every time the phone rang: Would it be for you? Would it be your crush, or your best friend calling to talk about your crush? The anticipation cannot be matched by the experience of today’s youth, with their own phones and custom ring tones immediately notifying them when a call is for them. They don’t even get calls, anyway. Too bad they’ll never get to live their best lives.

I may have a softer spot for teen game shows because I was once on one of them. (This one, actually. And no, I’m nowhere in the promo and I have no idea where the footage of it is. It was in 1998.) But still, Double Dare was the best.

The sound of a dial-up modem connection was the sound of freedom and of the creepy Wild West that was teen chat rooms. 

The end of the day countdown was always the best way to catch all the right jams. We all knew this.

I still remember seeing my dad off for business trips when I was in elementary school, and getting to watch him walk down the jet way. Sad panda.

What were they thinking? (Don't get me wrong—would still eat them today.)

My sixth-grade computer class instructor gave us free time on Fridays for games, and we would all race to the front of the room for copies of Oregon Trail and Zentris (which was an off-brand Tetris). It was the best 42 minutes of the entire week.

I once gave a troll doll a haircut, which I now realize was totally not the point, but it happened and I know I’m not alone in that experience.

It was always easier to get up early on the weekends.

I didn’t get all the jokes back then, but I do now. It was even more genius than I realized. My husband has already started reading it to my son, which is just as cute as you’d imagine it to be.

What else were driveways for? How are my kids supposed to injure each other's shins?

Do you think he’ll know this vague away message written in purple Comic Sans away message is for him?

Do it, Rockapella.

The girl across the street and I used to meet with our Caboodles on a daily basis, and trade stickers with the precision and ferocity of republican presidential candidate. Lisa Frank reigned supreme, followed closely by Hello Kitty and her friends, and anyone who says otherwise is no friend of mine.

My heart is pounding just thinking about it. What if the DJ PICKED UP and played your call LIVE ON THE RADIO? What if your friends heard? Or your crush? So much sweating.

And then the two of you would walk to a third friend’s house and repeat the cycle. Squads really knew how to squad back then. I'm pretty sure kids just do group texts now and never actually hang out.

I see you, *69. You changed my life in middle school, you clever beast.

Double-time!

Did anyone really tell Cleo their problems? Something about late-night infomercials just doesn’t seem very trustworthy. But still, even today, I encounter certain challenging moments in my life and I'm life, "Damn, only Miss Cleo would know what I should do about this."

For some reason, I forgot all about this one until I became a mom. Funny how that happens.

THAT VOICE.

We all lugged ours on the bus for the epic choir trip I went on in eighth grade, because God forbid I find some other, more efficient way to show my crush that I am cultured than by casually displaying both Alanis Morissette and Spice Girls CDs. 

And when the game/movie wasn't working, someone would say "this blows" and then you'd all laugh. Yeah, it was pretty sweet being alive back then, kids.

YOU GUYS. My family owned a device that did nothing but rewind movies at a super-high speed. It was the height of technology at the time. (Also, bonus points if you knew this gif is from Home Alone. Keep the change, ya filthy animal.)

Because no one would believe it was a hickey, and even if they did, it’s not like having one above your eyes was cool anyway.

Although I didn’t get a crimper until way late in the game, my mom achieved the same look by putting my hair in tiny wet braids and letting it dry that way. To everyone who wants a really slow and inefficient method to crimp hair: you’re welcome. 

I feel like the modern day equivalent of this are those musical vlogging families.

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