29 Funny Parenting Tweets From Twitter's Most Hysterical Parents


They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and this statement most certainly rings true when it comes to raising a toddler. After you've fished a Barbie doll out of the toilet and successfully cleaned the maple syrup out of your 6-year-old's hair minutes before her soccer game began, there's pretty much nothing you can't handle. Being a parent is basically like being a superhero but without receiving any of the praise or adoration. It's a ton of work and requires putting yourself through endless sticky situations, as made clear through this week's round-up of funniest parenting tweets.

Your life is no doubt fueled by 15 minute naps and countless cups of coffee, and the last time you've had a solid night of sleep was probably around three years ago. All of your shirts are most likely stained in one way or another and you're pretty sure the weird rash you've developed on your back is stress-induced. Yes, you're exhausted, but being a parent pretty much ensures that you'll never live a day without any laughter or excitement. Sometimes it takes hearing or reading about other parents' struggles to remind yourself that it's definitely okay to laugh at your parenting woes sometimes.

1. If Only

I'd be unstoppable.

2. Toddler Logic

No, legos do not belong in the refrigerator.

3. 100 Percent Required

It's absolutely necessary.

4. #Same

Can you blame them?

5. Parenting Goals

Sounds like pretty good advice to me.

6. Get Me Out Of Here

Sounds like a blast!

7. Please Don't Find Me


8. Trader Joe's, My Second Home

This is probably the most "mom" statement I've ever read.

9. No More Whining, Please

And by "today," I think you really mean "every day."

10. #TeenageProblems

The absolute worst.

11. Joke's On You

And I'm pretty sure it's Greek for "your shirt is stained with throw up."

12. A Dangerous Mission

You are so, so brave.

13. #MomLife

What a coincidence! We have the exact same hobbies.

14. 100 Percent Accurate

It's like a ticking time bomb.

15. Shut Your Mouth

The golden rule: Never accept parenting advice from somebody who does not have kids.

16. #ParentingMath

Sounds about right.

17. No More Cartwheels, Please

You'd think they'd get tired after the first 50 somersaults. But nope.

18. Who Needs Hawaii?

What's the point of vacation if you can yell at your kids from the comfort of your own living room?

19. You're Blocking My View

Those still sound like pretty big dreams to me.

20. How Could You?

Rookie mistake.

21. Couldn't Agree More


22. World-Renowned Author

I heard it was on The New York Times best seller list.

23. No Shower, No Problem

She definitely will.

24. Dinnertime Drama

I'm praying for the day my toddler will eat something other than Spongebob macaroni and cheese.

25. The Struggle Is Real

Those were the days.

26. 254 Milliseconds Left

It's an acquired skill.

27. Can't Argue With That

Sounds pretty logical to me.

28. No Kids Allowed

I don't blame her.

29. Please Be Careful

Making ginormous messes is pretty much a prerequisite to being a kid.