Say what you will about Cersei Lannister, she loves her children. (Loved? Will love again? No one is sure.) Sure, they might be the products of terribly improper breeding practices, and at least one might have actually been the spawn of Satan, and not her twin brother's, but she loved them. While Game of Thrones is most assuredly not the place to look for parenting advice — at least not since Catelyn Stark — there are myriad feelings present that we can all see represent ourselves as parents. So here are 30 Game of Thrones quotes that apply to parenting, because we are all obsessed.
I am legitimately attached to all things GOT. Admittedly, I did start watching the series before I read the books, but I went back and plowed through them like a Dothraki through a battlefield. To me, it is one of the most quotable shows on television, right up there with Parks and Rec and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Only, instead of "I'm gonna want the milk steak boiled over hard," it's "I drink and I know things." And strangely enough, so many of the quotes from GOT, when taken out of context, encapsulate a whole parenting mood.
1. "The night is dark and full of terrors." Season 2, Episode 1
I have had a newborn with GERD, and let me tell you, this quote is absolutely everything. If you've been lucky enough to be a parent in the newborn phase, you know this quote speaks to you.
2. "I'd say you get used to them... but you never really do." Season 7, Episode 3
Sure, this is a quote about Dany's dragons, but honestly, I'm still not used to my children, and I hatched them myself out of my very own body.
3. "Chaos is a ladder." Season 7, Episode 4
If you have a threenager, you're feeling this in the very pit of your soul. (That Littlefinger did not have.)
4. "This isn't a war we can win." Season 7, Episode 5
If you've ever tried to convince your 4-year-old that polka dot pants do not go well with a camouflage shirt and bow tie, you'll know this quote. You are this quote.
5. "There is only one war that matters. The Great War. And it is here." Season 7, Episode 7
Also known as "dinnertime."
6. “You’re in the great game now, and the great game is terrifying” Season 6, Episode 10
Nothing has ever been more truthful or scary if you've played Monopoly with elementary school aged children. Or even Chutes and Ladders. They design those games to last forever and bore parents to tears.
7. "I suppose life is irregular!" Season 6, Episode 10
Nothing about having children makes sense. The whole experience can best be described as "irregular." Fellow parent Samwell Tarly understands life better than most.
8."Next time I have an idea like that, punch me in the face." Season 6, Episode 2
Ever taken your children to a museum on a Saturday afternoon? I'll bet you thought it was a good idea on Friday night, didn't you?
9. "Trust me — if my soup didn't kill you, nothing will." Season 6, Episode 8
I'm fairly certain my son thinks I'm trying to murder him every time I introduce a new food. I'm going to start throwing in GOT quotes when I respond.
10. “This is all I want to do. All day, every day, for the rest of my life” Season 5, Episode 3
This quote is way out of context for anything but babymaking, but it fits so much as a parent. Until it doesn't.
11. “I need to speak to someone with hair.” Season 5, Episode 3
If you haven't thought this during maternity leave, then your child had hair. That's all I'm saying.
12. “Long sullen silences and an occasional punch in the face..." Season 5, Episode 5
Basically every toddler having a bad day, right? Mormonts and 3-year-olds: both fairly moody.
13. “I believe in second chances. I don’t believe in third chances...” Season 5, Episode 9
Yup. "You're going in time-out, tiny one, and I'm throwing out this slime."
14. "Perhaps we’ve grown so used to horror we assume there’s no other way." Season 5, Episode 1
This is absolutely a quote that is the hell of dealing with school choice. Trust me. I have a kid going into middle school.
15. "Every ambitious move is a gamble." Season 5, Episode 3
Ever try to move a sleeping baby from the car seat to the crib? Yeah. That.
16. "It takes courage to admit fear." Season 5, Episode 5
This is just the quote for so many parenting moments, but what comes to mind is changing a diaper after hearing something diabolical happen in your child's gut right before hand. Bubbles. Grunting. Oh my gosh, the smell.
17. “You’re not interesting enough to be offensive.” Season 4, Episode 7
I swear, this is what my daughter thinks at my son every day.
18. "There's only one hell — the one we live in now." Season 4, Episode 2
This is me, sitting at my daughter's drum practice, realizing she's going to also be doing that at home.
19. “Keep this one safe. He means the world to me." Season 3, Episode 9
This fits as a sweet thought when you buckle in your child. It also works for a child who is begging you to watch their lovey when they're away at school. Or, you know, their favorite crayon or something. Kids are weird.
20. “Ah, look. More sh*t. I was starting to wonder what to do with the rest of my day.” Season 3, Episode 4
I mean. Need I say more?
21. “You have a taste, one taste of the real world – where people have important things taken from them, and you whine and cry and quit." Season 3, Episode 4
What parent has not thought this when their child has a meltdown after losing the swing at the park after begging to go to the park for hours?
22. “Oh… I’m a monster? Perhaps you should speak to me more softly, then. Monsters are dangerous...” Season 3, Episode 10
That moment when your child thinks you're trying to kill them by making them wear socks.
23. “You insult yourself, Kingslayer. You’ve been defeated by a boy, you’re held captive by a boy..." Season 2, Episode 1
You thought you were big and bad before you had kids. You knew exactly what you'd do. You were wrong, Kingslayer.
24. “Power is a curious thing, my lord…Power resides where men believe it resides. It’s a trick, a shadow on the wall. And a very small man can cast a very large shadow." Season 2, Episode 3
Ever try potty training or getting rid of a pacifier? This quote pretty much sums that up.
25. “Treat your oaths recklessly and your people will do the same.” Season 2, Episode 10
"But you promised!" This is a good reminder to never promise what you don't intend to deliver upon. No one will trust you otherwise.
26. “You want to lead one day? Well learn how to follow.” Season 2, Episode 1
This goes well between parents and kids and between parents and good advice they don't want to hear.
27. “And a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone.” Season 2, Episode 1
This is 100 percent the truth. Kids books are essential, even if they want you to read the same one over and over again.
28. “Distrusting me was the wisest thing you’ve done since you climbed off your horse.” Season 1, Episode 4
It's best not to trust the child who says they didn't eat the cookies while having chocolate all over their faces.
29. “A lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinions of a sheep.” Season 1, Episode 7
By the way, the parents are the sheep in this scenario.
30. "That's how I got so strong. Giant's milk." Season 8, Episode 2
Just because. Granted, none of us are giants breastfeeding huge gingers, but it's still funny.