Ah, the joys of parenthood. Being a mom is probably the only job that requires you to balance a toddler in one arm and simultaneously clean smeared tomato sauce off the ceiling with the other. When it comes to taking care of your kids, daily occurrences can often times feel as if they're straight out of a horror movie. Thankfully, what makes the job seem a little easier is knowing that you're never alone, and that there are other moms dealing with the same shenanigans as you. And that's especially clear when you dig through the plethora of funny parenting tweets.
Don't get me wrong. The majority of the time, most moms and dads agree that being a parent is awesome. However, right after your 1-year-old son has a meltdown because you won't let him use your iPhone as a teething toy, you begin to daydream about the days where the majority of your clothes were free of any major throw-up stains, and the nights you were able to sleep for more than 4-and-a-half hours at a time.
Parenthood is no doubt extremely difficult, but it can be refreshing to laugh at the hardships that the job entails. These tweets will remind you that you aren't the only mom undergoing the tantrums, trials, and triumphs that you're forced to deal with each and every day.
1. Thanks, But No Thanks
Is there any task more aggravating than explaining long division to an eight-year-old?
2. A Dangerous Mission
They're fighting over a McDonald's toy. No chance I'm intervening.
3. Can You Blame Him?
It's a daily occurrence.
4. Where Can I Sign Up?
My 2-year-old has kept me up for three nights. I can't even think of a more desirable vacation destination.
There's a reason you keep a bottle of white wine stocked in my fridge at all times.
6. It's The Little Things
Last week my kid flushed a box of crayons down the toilet. I respect your excitement 100 percent.
7. I'm No Einstein, Buddy
How am I supposed to know?!
8. Cute But Dangerous
9. Why Even Bother Arguing?
I can confirm. This is true.
One of the up-sides to throwing your toddler a Frozen-themed birthday party: leftover birthday cake.
11. You Win Some, You Lose Some
Glitter can often have disastrous effects.
12. Getting Older By The Minute
TBH this is how "age" should normally be calculated.
13. Mom Knows Best
14. Should Have Seen That Coming
Just about sums it up.
15. Why Oh Why
Who am I raising?!
16. Romantic Night In
Who even has time for romance anymore?
17. Is Spring Break Over Yet?
Any parent who can successfully coerce a child into finishing homework during vacation deserves a medal. Period.
18. I Can't Do This
If this is what the future holds, I'm scared.
20. Liar Liar Pants On Fire
Whatever doesn't kill you will make you wish you could stay asleep until your kid turns at least 18.
21. Pipe Down
Do you have a kid? No? Then why are you speaking?
22. Please Pray
This is a difficult time, but I know she'll make it through.
23. Why Didn't I Think Of That
Why do 6-year-olds always come up with the best ideas?
Lack of sleep will do that to you.
25. First Date Blues
I don't even know what a "date" is anymore.
26. At Least It's Important
I know more about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles than I know about the next presidential election.
27. He Gets It
Wine Wednesday exists for a reason.
28. Sticky Situation
It could be glue or it could be spilt apple juice. You'll never really know.
I would watch that.
30. The Struggle Is Real
So much laundry. So little time.
31. Soup Is Soup
Realistically most of it will end up in your 2-year-old's hair, anyway.