When it comes to modern day slang I can hardly keep up with all the new terms. It seems like every day there's a new expression for something that I have no clue how to translate. One thing I've always been particularly proud of, however, is my ability to interpret hilarious slang words for private parts. Yes, I know, this makes me sound like I have the comedic affinity of a teenage boy. And you know what, maybe I do. But there's nothing better than inserting some hysterical slang words into conversation with your pals when you're talking about your body parts.
Sure, these words might not be something you want to pass along to your young children. (It's important not to use euphemisms when discussing anatomy with kids.) But think of how funny it would be if you managed to explain to your partner that your kid bit you in the gazongas. Or to tell your friends that your dumplings are a little sore. Colorful and creative language to describe your most precious parts is not only fun, it's funny, too. So instead of talking about your vagina like it's just your vagina, why not introduce some nicknames for it that elevate it to the next level?
My personal favorite slang words for butt, Buzzfeed didn't disappoint when it rounded up a long list of euphemisms for the booty
You can drum on 'em, but don't drum too hard. Drums or boobs? According to Buzzfeed, bongos are perfectly acceptable slang for your boobs.
Just like melons, referring to my boobs as dumplings tends to make me hungry.
Mental Floss reported that people have been referring to their vaginas as their privy-counsel since 1664. That's more than 300 years of visits to the privy-counsel that really could've just been visits to your muff.
My what now? My blorps? Is this an alien thing, or just a fun way to say boobs? According to Buzzfeed, blorps is a fun way to say boobs.
I'm bringing this one back, and my grandmother would be proud. Rather than referring to my backside as my badonkadonk, I'm reaching deep into the slang of my childhood to call my buns my fanny from now on.
Though you might want to think twice before slapping them around, Buzzfeed noted that patticakes has been used instead of "boobs" for some time.
8. The Silent Flute
Do you play the silent flute? Slate filed silent flue — slang for penis — under "poetic."
9. Juicy Double
Need a new nickname for your booty? How about referring to it as a juicy double? Sounds like a menu item at Wendy's to me, but that didn't keep Sir Mix A Lot from using it in his hit "Baby Got Back."
10. Cupid's Warehouse
With Valentine's Day right around the corner, it's only right to bring this one into conversation as soon as possible, right? According to Slate, this is some of the more affectionate slang terms for vagina.
You don't need to hop on a plane to take a trip down to the Netherlands, it's true. According to Mental Floss, people have been using thissthe Netherlands as a term for vagina since 1590.
I still remember middle school boys using gazongas as slang for boobs.
How fun is this word to say? So fun. Thanks to Slate for introducing this slang for testicles into my life.
14. Arbor Vitae
Mental Floss nailed it with this slang for penis that's been around since 1732. Arbor vitae? The tree of life? These just keep getting better.
I'd much rather talk about cakes all day than talk about my butt. Little did I know, cakes is slang for your butt according to Buzzfeed. Joke's on me.
Tried and true, kahunas term used in place of your boobs.
17. Staff Of Life
Not gonna lie, Slate got a laugh out of me with this one. I can't wait to refer to a penis as the staff of life the next time I get the chance.
18. Tunnel Of Love
The next time your partner wants to go on a trip, ask them to take a trip to the Tunnel of Love first. Urban Dictionary noted that stunnel of love is common slang for your vagina.
19. Petticoat Lane
According to Mental Floss, if you were looking for a way to describe your nether regions saucily (yet delicately) in 1790, Petticoat Lane was the way to go.
Another term from Buzzfeed, this is one I'll never forget.
22. Vertical Bacon Sandwich
Just close your eyes and imagine a vertical bacon sandwich. Yeah, you get the resemblance now, right? Thanks to Urban Dictionary, using vertical bacon sandwich as slang for your vagina is a hot new trend.
23. Aphrodisiacal Tennis Court
I've never heard this used in conversation before, but now I'm making it my goal in life to refer to somebody's vagina by using this term. The folks over at Slate apparently had never heard it before either, as they placed it under their slang that makes you go "huh?" category.
24. Temporary Lodging
Since you're really not letting your partner spend all night in there, why not adopt temporary lodging as slang for your vagina, courtesy of Urban Dictionary?
25. Smothers Brothers
Looking for something a little more aggressive to call the twins? Buzzfeed suggested "Smothers Brothers" as the next great nickname for your boobs.
26. Field Of Dreams
This isn't just the name of an incredible movie. Urban Dictionary noted that field of dreams is slang for describing your vagina. After all, it is where dreams come true.
27. Rule Of Three
If you're looking for slang to encompass the penis and the testicles, look no further. According to Mental Floss, referring to the whole package as the "rule of three" dates back to 1720.
Also known as Spanish for eggs, feel free to use huevos as slang for testicles the next time you feel like getting bilingual, according to the Urban Dictionary.
According to the Online Slang Dictionary, giggleberries are slang for testicles. And so much fun to say.
Say it out loud, with an Italian accent, and you'll get a dramatic and funny Buzzfeed approved way to refer to your boobs. I think Don Corleone would be proud too.
Oh the gitzi, the good ole gitzi. This one comes from a family friend, and it's just so much more fun to say than vagina, isn't it?
32. The Dream Team
Buzzfeed suggested you really believed in yourself, and your boobs, with this nickname. Perk those twins up and put the dream team to work.