39 Funny Tweets About Kids And Food That Show The Picky Eater Struggle Is Real
Since becoming a mom, I've learned not to take food so seriously. Sure, it's important to feed your kids healthy foods, but when you're the parent of a picky eater, more often than not, meal time automatically turns into survival mode. And since misery (or pickiness in this case) loves company, funny tweets about kids and food from parents who have been there probably won't convince your kids to eat their dinner, but they will definitely prove that you're not alone in the dinnertime struggle.
Before I had kids I had grand aspirations for myself as a mom. I pictured myself as a wise, nurturing mother who would only feed her always obedient children organic, free-range, gluten free, non-GMO meals. We would sit down to dinner and my kids would eat all of their food, responding with a polite "thank you for dinner, mommy" and then we'd go on our merry way.
Now that I'm the mother of a toddler and an almost-toddler, let's just say that my mindset has changed a bit since my pre-mom days. Most of the time, I'm lucky to get my daughter to finish an entire meal that doesn't completely consist of goldfish crackers and bananas.
If you too are the parent of a picky eater, or "child" as most people call them, these tweets will resonate with you. And if your child hasn't yet reached these lengths of opinionated-ness, may the odds be ever in your favor.
1. Selective Finders
You'll never chop them small enough.
2. Opposite Game
Chloe: mommy this is the opposite game. I will do the opposite— mel (@itsmestarlight1) May 4, 2016
Me: no you have to eat
Chloe: yes so that means i will not eat #pickyeater
A word to the wise: choose your words very carefully.
3. Trade Off
It's a nightly battle.
4. The 75 Percent
On the plus side, the more kids you have, the percentage can only go up.
5. Lay Down The Law
So the kid won't finish his fish stick. He's gonna sit at the table until he does I guess. #pickykids— Tarran Olivia (@Totes_Tar_Tal) October 22, 2015
Sometimes a mamas gotta do what she's gotta do.
6. Hidden Talents
At some point, every parent turns into a food magician.
7. Keep It Simple
At chipotle Jackson orders a burrito with lettuce and cheese and that is all. His exact response "The best burrito I've ever had" #pickykids— Keaonna Clopton (@KClop4) January 16, 2015
At least he covered two basic food groups, right?
8. Waffles Versus Pancakes
How do you like Waffles but not Pancakes? #PickyKids man...— wavegodxmjrs (@astnmjrs) December 19, 2014
There is apparently a very distinct difference.
9. Three Different Meals
Do we look like cook-to-order chefs?
10. No Bacon Please
Who doesn't like bacon though?
11. Noddles All Day
Especially when it's not payday yet.
12. Trial And Error
I should have just made macaroni in the first place. #pickykids— Lisa (@Lisa_Lynn217) January 5, 2014
We always know how it will end up, but yet we persist in cooking new gourmet things that aren't mac and cheese.
13. A Wide Variety
We will eat hot dogs, or we will eat pizza shaped like hot dogs. #pickykids— Vagabond (@DayoSayDayo) December 28, 2013
But never veggies shaped like hotdogs.
14. When The Unthinkable Happens
When the stars align and all the kids like the same meal, all I can say is don't blink. Because it will never happen again.
15. Limited Menu
No neighbor girl I will not make you a gourmet meal. My lunch menu is limited to chicken nuggets or Mac n cheese, take your pick #pickykids— Erin Spieker (@ErinSpieker) July 31, 2013
Since when did "mom" become synonymous with "sous chef"?
16. Secret Happy Meal
B is so picky about food, it drives me crazy mayb I should put everything I make in a box with a toy #pickykids— Christina Selemaea (@CSelemaea) July 31, 2013
They'll never be able to tell the difference, right?
17. Four Course Meal
Except they'll only take two and a half bites of each.
18. Donuts Versus Prunes
If your kid falls on the "healthy picky" side, never complain.
19. Emotional Eating
It's natural to have very strong feelings about dinner, right?
20. More For Us
"Dad" is culinary-speak for food disposal unit. #pickykids— David Bjarnson (@OuterField) December 28, 2012
If half-eaten chicken nuggets and mac and cheese are your forte, you're in luck.
21. Infected Pizza
We got sun dried tomatoes on our pizza tonight. The kids are acting like its been sprinkled with SARS. #pickykids— Lynn Bogner (@BognerLynn) December 22, 2012
It's kind of the same thing.
22. None Of The Above
Me: "Should we have meatloaf or spaghetti and meatballs tonight?" Emily: "I'm not going to have any of those things." *sigh* #pickykids— Amy Tarr (@takeaim74) May 16, 2012
At least she's honest.
23. Thinking Ahead
Making paella. I should probably put peanut butter, jelly & bread on the table too. #pickykids— Kristina L. Martin (@quickmissive) May 10, 2012
You might as well add master planner to your list of accomplishments too.
24. Hold The Salad
"I'll take a salad with no lettuce, veggies, or dressing, please mom".
25. Everything Is Candy
I'm telling my 2 yr old that baked beans are candy pellets to get her to try them. No dice! #pickykids— inkoluv (@inkoluv) May 9, 2011
Everything turns into candy with a little bit of imagination.
kid just got busted trying to throw his brussels sprouts out in the bathroom. apparently that's where unwanted food has been ending up— Whitt Amore (@whittamore) May 15, 2016
The next time your kid takes their plate to that bathroom, you'll know why.
27. Dog/Toddler Food
Kid won't touch any food that's green, but he will throw a piece of dog food right in the pie-hole like it's nothing.— Kenan (@kenan917) April 30, 2016
Dog food is fair game. Salad is poison.
28. Constructive Criticism
Kid: whenever I eat your food I want to throw up.— GoHomeYou'reDrunk (@jacir100) March 5, 2016
Me: I love you too
You're actually insulting me out of love right?
29. Food Trolls
Either this kid now thinks the sign for "Hungry" means "I want to throw food," or he's trolling me. All. Day. #boywhocriedhungrylikethewolf— Ecto Cooler Myers (@ecmyers) February 29, 2016
It's all just a game to them.
30. One Of Those Days
You ever have a day where you come home throw fast food at your kid and pop open a wine bottle within 5 mins of walking in? #BadParent— Juicebox Hero (@christyrenn77) February 23, 2016
Wine pairs wells with chicken nuggets, just so you know.
31. Refined Tastes
She'll eat smoked salmon and sunomono but not waffles. Kid has some fine taste.— Mama Nat (@howetolove) May 4, 2016
Some kids err on the other side of picky.
32. Breakfast In Bed
You are, that's who.
33. A Battle Of Wits
When your kid says, "I don't wanna eat tha--" & you interrupt w/, "Do you have a job..." pic.twitter.com/F6Xd15Lhto— ✨ The Dr. ✨ (@ARainhaDoce) May 6, 2016
It'll stop them in their tracks every time.
34. Child's Logic
"Carter you need to eat your dinner please."— Ashley Payne (@ashley_lyn_10) May 6, 2016
"Ughhhh I just can't. My back hurts"
Oh, ok. Since your back hurts.
35. Bread Is Bread
I pretty sure my kid would eat a whole loaf of chicken breading— dadpression (@Dadpression) May 7, 2016
If it has the word "bread" in it, it's fair game.
36. A Downhill Battle
Getting my kid to eat vegetables is like me successfully stabbing a Capri Sun with that little straw.— Sarah Hosseini (@SarahHosseiniUS) May 16, 2016
Why do they make those holes so small anyway?
37. Sacrificial Love
Becoming a parent is basically just giving up your food when your kid doesn't like theirs— Carly (@carlyslonin) November 24, 2014
Which is every single time they eat.
38. An Equation For Failure
Food usage while on plane w/ toddler: 25% eaten by kid, 15% dropped on floor, 25% eaten by parent, 20% kid don't like, 10% waste, 5% unknown— Kevin Lee (@MovingBoilers) January 19, 2015
Picky eaters plus airplane food don't mix.