There are many times in your life where you might experience a lower sex drive. Maybe you've just had a baby, just started new meds, or you've just taken your first job in politics. No matter the reason, you're just not as into it as you used to be. The signs that you might be turning a corner, and your libido once again might be creeping back into your life, can be difficult to recognize after they've been away for so long. Often, they begin in your imagination. For instance, these four fantasies that signal your sex drive is returning are remarkably easy to overlook.
Everyone has fantasies, noted a study completed by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. Researchers found that, in general, most people report that sexual activity makes up about eight percent of the dreams that they are able to remember the next day. The content, quality, and frequency of fantasies, both waking and sleeping, vary with external influences such as quality of rest and things like hormones and mood, according to Frontiers in Psychology. Interestingly enough, researchers at the Department of Personality, Evaluation, and Psychological Treatment of the University of Granada found that having fantasies increases one's libido, and that the reverse is also true: an increase in libido means an increase in fantasies.
But what fantasies might signal a return of a lagging sexual need?
1. You Dream Of Sex Being Interrupted
You're kissing your partner, things are getting hot and heavy. You can feel yourself getting increasingly aroused, and just when the fireworks are about to happen? Nope. Coitus interruptus. In your dream, your partner disappears, fading away right at the good part. No matter what, you're not getting there. Integrative psychologist Dr. Gillian Holloway, PhD wrote on her website that this could signal a frustration with your partner, which many new parents can understand wholly. However, an alternative interpretation of this common sexual fantasy could be that you are frustrated with your lack of intimacy, even if you're the nonstarter. Having overtly sexual dreams where there is no completion might mean that your body is getting prepared to get you back in the game.
2. You're Fantasizing About The Same Sex (Even If You Identify As Straight)
It is very common for straight-identifying people to have fantasies about people of the same gender presentation to them. Chances are, if you've reached adulthood and sexual maturity, you've seen some porn, specifically lesbian or gay porn. Women's Health noted that women who watch lesbian porn do so because it's more intimate and the use of toys and foreplay are more satisfying. If you find yourself fantasizing about sex with someone of the same gender, that might mean that you're looking to fulfill that sexual need with the idea of intimacy and satisfaction.
3. You're Thinking About Masturbating
People who report a low libido, or what the medical community refers to as hypoactive sexual desire disorder, tend not to even think about sex or masturbation, even if they formerly had a healthy sexual appetite and masturbated regularly, according to Psychiatry. If you find yourself thinking about masturbation again, even in a fleeting sense of "I miss that," your libido might be revving its engines, the article inferred.
4. Literally Any Fantasy
Researchers at Department of Personality, Evaluation and Psychological Treatment of the University of Granada, found that any sort of fantasy can signal an increase in libido, because the lack of sexual fantasies is one of the hallmarks of a decreased sexual appetite. If you suddenly look at your jump romp at the gym in a new and interesting way, you might be getting your groove back.