It sounds easy enough: Hey kid, you have to poop? We have a room for that. Go, sit, poop, done. Right? Oh friend. You have obviously never potty trained a child. Or you have and you’ve blocked out the countless horrors that can go along with this very necessary milestone, in which case I cannot blame you at all.
Even kids who are “easy” to potty train aren’t really “easy to potty train” because of logistical issues. I have never met a single child who is good at wiping themselves right off the bat. This, unfortunately, leads to poop in places you really don’t want to have to deal with poop. Toilet seats, walls, hands, and, of course, underwear. I’ve also never met a young lad who has great aim right away. I’m pleased to say that in the year my son has been potty trained, I no longer step in a puddle of urine in front of the toilet everysingle day… but I still regularly step in puddles of urine in front of the toilet. I’ve also never met a child who hasn’t had multiple accidents since being potty trained. Like I said. These are the easy kids. Then you get to the more difficult kids. The stubborn kids, the kids who have difficulty with potty training as a result of developmental problems or delays, and the kids who inexplicably just do not care to be potty trained. I mean, those kids kind of have a point, right? Someone is literally taking care of their business for them, so why would they exert any effort whatsoever? Watch out for those kids—they’re going to rule the world some day, and then we’ll all have to deal with their shit.
So how does all of this ultimately affect parents? Deeply. There is little more frustrating in this world than potty training a child. It’s a real emotional roller coaster and we should all be kind to those brave souls currently trudging through this crap (see what I did there)? As such here are things you should and should not say to a parent who’s toiling through the shit-show that is potty training.