The phrase "not all heroes wear capes" is an adage moms know too well. Just take, for example, all the weird things your kid chooses to idolize. Like, can someone please tell me why you can't convince your children to say "thank you" or "please," but the second some cartoon character on a screen tells them to do it, it's all they can say? Or how sometimes you can literally try every trick in the book to convince them that there are no monsters hiding in the closet, but they won't calm down until their favorite toy (aka whichever one is closest to the bed) does a sweep of the bedroom with their very own plastic eyes? So sure, I guess not all heroes have to wear capes, but apparently they don't necessarily have to be animate objects, either — in fact, they can even be edible.
And moms know this better than anyone. Think of all those totally chaotic motherhood moments when the actual star of the show was the convenient, crowd-pleasing powers of pizza.
To prove that one should never be caught without a stash of the family's favorite meal, we partnered with delicious mealtime solution Red Baron Pizza to imagine a few moments when there was no duo more dynamic than a determined mom and the meltdown-stopping, hunger-fighting, personal-time-elevating powers of frozen pizza. Anything look familiar?
When Soccer Practice Is In 20 Minutes
...and your maps app is telling you that the quickest route is going to take a tight 19 (if you hit all green lights). Thankfully, traffic and lost shoes are no match for your kid-wrangling expertise — especially since you know that nothing is going to get her out the door faster than the sweet, sweet allure of pizza.
When You've Successfully Made It To Naptime
YES! YOU! DID! Kick back and enjoy some "me time" during that blissful hour to yourself, when no one's around to ask for a bite of your food. In case you've forgotten: You deserve this.
When You Need A Simple Way To Elevate Playtime
Because out of nowhere, your kid has suddenly demanded real food for her fake doll's impromptu birthday party. Lucky for you, birthday pizza is a far superior option to birthday cake any day of the week... right? #NailedIt
When You Literally Just Need A Minute
Emphasis on the singularity of "a." Just. One. Minute. Please. Time to yourself as a mom is as rare as a unicorn sighting, so no judgement if you've ever initiated a game of hide-and-seek with absolutely no intention of seeking. You grab a slice of 'za, that wine glass, and fill'er up, girlfriend.
When Mealtime Turns Into A Negotiation
Does your dining room ever feel more like the conference room on the executive floor of some Fortune 500 company? Yeah, you're not alone. Mealtime standoffs are no joke, and if bribing your kid into the clean-plate club with an entire pizza is wrong, we don't want to be right.
This post is sponsored by Red Baron Pizza.
Photos: Ashley Batz; Hair: Mike Fernandez; Makeup: Mary Guthrie; Food Stylist: Maria Del Mar Cuadra; Wardrobe Stylist: Rebecca Alaniz; Prop Stylist: Elizabeth Peters; Art Direction: Bry Crasch, Brit Phillips.