You've been there, right? You're between the sheets — with a partner or with a toy — and you just can't seem to get there. No matter how hard you try, the elusive climax just seems to escape you. Yeah, it happens to everyone, but it happens to some more often than others. It might even get to the point where you get embarrassed that you can't seem to orgasm, no matter how hard you (and your partner) try. But you shouldn't be embarrassed, as there are so many reasons not to be embarrassed about not being able to orgasm.
An orgasm is a personal moment. Much like your sexual appetite, orgasms don't happen the same way for everyone. Some people even enjoy holding out from an orgasm. The bottom line is, whether or not you're having an orgasm, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Everyone works at their own pace. And not being able to orgasm? Sometimes it's more the psychological. Anorgasmia is a scientific explanation for those who have never been able to orgasm, or who have always had trouble with achieving climax, according to Mayo Clinic. If you find yourself in this position, there are plenty of things you can do to take matters into your own hands (literally), and there are plenty of anorgasmia treatment resources available for you. Fear not, ladies. You're not alone, and there's no reason to be embarrassed.
1. You're Not Alone
According to Planned Parenthood, 15 percent of women have difficulty reaching orgasm, and 10 percent have never reached climax during sex. Fewer than a third of women orgasm regularly during sex. Not having an orgasm? Not irregular.
2. You Have The Chance To Explore
Not having an orgasm? Take this opportunity to learn what you like, with yourself. There's no shame in practicing your own game, folks. Women should always know how to please themselves before trying to let a partner please them. Do you like fantasizing? Not sure? Try it out. Practice makes perfect.
3. You Can Always Get Help
"It may be physical," said Isadora Alman, a board-certified sexologist and psychotherapist told Everyday Health. "Physiologically, it may just be that they're not getting the right stimulation." If you're reaching orgasm on your own, but can't seem to get there with a partner, it can just be that your partner's touch seems strange. It may take time to get used to someone else's touch.
4. It Doesn't Mean You're Sexually Repressed
Anorgasmia can be caused by a number of things, according to Mayo Clinic and plenty of them have nothing to do with your psychological state. From prescriptions, to medical problems, and even something as simple as too much alcohol.
5. It Doesn't Mean You Can't Have Great Sex
Culture today places a high stigma around orgasms, that it can be overwhelming to think about how great sex can be without an orgasm. Remember this: there are no shoulds, or should-nots in sex. You can have sex any way you want! There are no rules when it comes to orgasms. For some people, orgasms are a natural part of sex. And for others? It isn't. Regardless, you can still have great sex.