Before I had my second child, my son, my husband and I tried to get pregnant for years. Not only did I try, but I suffered through two miscarriages, too. I was incredibly frustrated, heartbroken, and embarrassed. What was so wrong with me I couldn't manage to conceive another child? As I straddled the line between fertility drugs and acceptance and gratitude for the child I managed to have, I had decisions to make. If you're in the same situation, know that it's not your fault if your rainbow baby isn't here yet. There are so many factors, in that are completely out of your control, which is something I only learned after I delivered my baby boy.
Immediately after my son was born, and as the doctor's worked to stop the hemorrhage that happened due to a snapped umbilical cord, I was informed of how amazing it was my son and I made it through the pregnancy without fatal consequences. I hadn't known at the time, but the leaking amniotic fluid and dire pelvic and belly pains were signs of that impending cord snap. If I'd not been induced, I could've bled out, alone in my home. There'd have been no rainbow baby, and no mother to my (at the time) 5-year-old daughter.
Before this pregnancy even happened — one labeled a threatened abortion once discovered — it was medically clear I'd have difficulty carrying a fetus to term. While my uterus has always been tilted, and I'd suffered painful ovarian cysts, I don't know what changed so drastically from my daughter's birth years prior, to the difficulties that led to two miscarriages and this (apparent) dangerous pregnancy thereafter. All that time in between my daughter's birth and that of my rainbow baby, I wanted answers. In time, I've found what I need to know to move on from the lingering curiosities and pain. However, none of it takes away from what I went through to (finally) have my rainbow baby.
If you find yourself having a difficult time conceiving and bringing a pregnancy to term, and you're asking yourself that horrible question, "Is this my fault?" here are a few reasons why it absolutely isn't: