Sex is a big deal in relationships – it can make a new relationship go the distance or break a strong, long-term love. Of course, sex isn't the easiest topic to discuss, and it might be easier to brush off an issue than address it. But this can be dangerous as a problem you try to ignore looms in the back of your mind. There are definitely sex concerns you shouldn't ignore in a relationship, and you should address them before it grows into something bigger.
There are different ways to have a great sex life, because everyone has their own idea of what a normal sex life is. If you and your partner both think once a week is the perfect amount of sex, then it is perfect – for you. It's when one partner's emotional or physical needs are being ignored or not met that problems begin, which is why it's important to address issues that come up.
Certain problems cause more pain than others, and these sex concerns can be addressed and healed in a relationship with mutual respect and care. If you work on your communication with each other, sexual issues that crop up can be handled like pros.
1. Your SO Doesn't Want To Have Sex
If your partner claims they love having sex but never actually wants to do it, there are numerous reasons why. And, regardless, the culprit needs to be examined. Your partner could feel too tired or too stressed for sex. Or there could be emotional distance and misunderstandings that are contributing to the problem. Couples Therapy Inc., an online theraputic service, states that some partners need silent sex to engage their deepest feelings, and when required to verbalize their emotions, they lose desire.
2. Your SO Can't Complete The Deed
There are many reasons that a man could be having a problem crossing the finish line, and if he's not sure why, the first thing to do is get his health checked out. Certain health issues can contribute to a man's inability to orgasm. If his health is fine, you'll need to talk to pinpoint the issue.
3. Your Partner Chooses Masturbation Over Penetration
There are harmless, reasons a person may choose to masturbate over sex – a simple time crunch could be the reason. However, if your partner is regularly choosing to self-pleasure instead of come together, that is a problem.
4. Your Partner Only Pleases Themself
If you are unhappy with what goes down when it goes down, you've got to speak up for anything to change. On Today Health, Dr. Laura Berman and Dave Zinczenko from Men's Health discussed how to get the sex you want, without damaging your SO's ego. If your partner won't discuss your sex life, or refuses to respond to any of your suggestions, that is a serious problem.
5. Your Partner Withdraws Emotionally After Sex
It's hurtful when your partner is willing to have sex, but unwilling to connect emotionally afterward. Of course, this happens to everyone sometimes – we're all tired and stressed, or have off days – but if this is a regular thing, you'll need to communicate with your partner to find out what might be going on. There are various reasons people withdraw emotionally in relationships, including fear of loss, anger and fear of rejection, but to move toward a deeper connection, you'll have to talk it out.