Plenty of people turn to astrology, friends and family, or counselors when trying to find the right partner. Sometimes, though, your body may be the best judge. In fact, the signs your body is telling you you're in the wrong relationship may be all the evidence you need to move on.
After all, it's easy enough to justify a partner's bad behavior to yourself. Plus, your closest confidants may be won over by an especially charming partner, even if you're less than sure about that person. But your gut and your muscles and your heart won't lie. If a particular partner leaves you feeling exhausted, tense, or too nervous to think properly, then this is likely a bad sign.
So the next time you're confused about a certain partner, pay attention to the way you react physically. "When you’re with the wrong partner, your body will tell you," says Treva Brandon Scharf, ICF-life coach and dating coach. Stress, anxiety, and even the fight-or-flight response will turn into the new normal. "In short, a bad relationship is bad for your health," says Scharf. Learn how to protect your heart and your health by watching out for these physical signs of a bad relationship. And as always, don't hesitate to reach out to counselors or other health professionals for help if you feel stuck in the wrong relationship.
Does the sound of an incoming text message fill you with absolute dread? "When we are in the wrong relationship, we may experience the sensation of unhappy butterflies in our stomach when we see a text, email or missed phone call from our partner," says Shannon Thomas, certified trauma therapist. "It's a slight pang of dread or concern about what might be wrong now." In a happier relationship, these unexpected messages would probably make you smile.
When a relationship isn't right, it's anything but relaxing. "When we are in the wrong relationship, we will notice an overall tightness in our large muscle groups when around our partner," says Thomas. You might tense up these muscles without even realizing it.
Even holding a conversation can be difficult around someone who's not a good fit for you. Stumbling over words or contradicting yourself in order to meet the other person's approval may indicate an unhealthy relationship, says Karen R. Koenig, M.Ed., LCSW. "This is due to anxiety about being rejected, shamed, invalidated, etc." It isn't a good sign if the other person makes you feel this uncertain and nervous.
Sometimes the wrong relationship can even wreck your sleep habits. "Difficulty sleeping is often a symptom that is reported in stressful relationships because bedtime is when we aren't busy distracting ourselves from our stressors," says Shirin Peykar, psychotherapist. "The symptoms tend to appear full-force at night." If nothing else appears to be the cause of your sleeplessness, consider your stress levels brought about by this person.
Sometimes the stress may simply make you feel uncomfortable in your own body. "Often times, our body feels uncomfortable, especially in the stomach, chest, and heart," says Peykar. So in general, if your body is feeling off for some unexplained reason, don't overlook the possibility of a stressful relationship. The wrong partner can wreck havoc on both your mind and body.