How do you define bad sex? Some may say it's lack of orgasm, while others will argue that not having enough is the worst. But chances are, if you're having bad sex, you don't need a definition. It's one of those things you just know. Feeling dissatisfied with your sex life doesn't melt away when you leave the bedroom. All areas of your life can be affected by this — and the ways your bad sex life affects your kids may surprise you.
When doing the deed is not meeting your needs or expectations, you don't receive all the awesome stress-relieving benefit of having sex. As your stress levels climb higher, the results start to spill over into the different parts of your life, which includes parenting. Unfortunately, your kids will start to experience a version of you that is not your best self. They may not know the cause, but they will pick up on your tensions.
If you've been sweeping your bad sex life under the rug to deal with things you think are bigger issues, consider these five ways your kids are affected by your bedroom behaviors, and make a vow to have the sex life you want. Just remember, when you are satisfied, everyone benefits.
1. They Have Cranky Mama
Managing a headache is bad enough. Add managing kids into the, mix and that headache starts pounding even harder. According to Health, studies show that sex can relive pain, especially pain associated with headaches. So if you aren't getting that sweet relief from some good sex, that throbbing in your head can make you one cranky mama.
2. They're Exposed To More Germs
If you thought taking your vitamins was all you needed to stay healthy, think again. Sex has lost of immune-boosting effects, and as Prevention magazine pointed out, less sex equals more germs. The more germs you have, the more there are to spread around the house, meaning it won't just be you doing all the sneezing and sniffling.
3. They Always See You Yawning
Don't have enough energy to keep up with your littles? Your kids require you to be alert and present, which is hard to do if your sleep is suffering. The key to better sleep just might be better sex. If you want to log lots of slumber, orgasms will help you sleep sounder, according to Women's Health.
4. Their Mom Is More On Edge
Bad sex can lead to a bad mood, which carries over into your day. If sex is not satisfying, it won't stimulate the pleasure centers of your brain that help to alleviate feelings of fear and anxiety, as sex therapist Laura Berman reported for Everyday Health. Carrying around these extra stressors will put you more on edge in general, and make it more difficult to deal with whining kids.
5. They Sense The Disconnect
According to Psychology Today, you need the hormone oxytocin to bond with others. The brain receives oxytocin when you are physically intimate with another person. But if there is something missing in the sex, the oxytocin may not be revving up like it should, and you may start to feel disconnected from your partner. Kids can pick up on these subtle underlying currents in relationships and can sense a disconnect between you and your SO.