Most everyone has an idea in their head of what the perfect partner should be like. And I'm not talking about physicality or appearance, either. There are certain qualities that you look for when you're trying to either find your ideal mate or you're wanting to make sure your current significant other is truly your soulmate. It's a timeless question, too, as the legendary Whitney Houston famously asked, "How will I know?" So what are some of the qualities of a sexual soulmate?
The signs may not be as obvious as you might think, but that doesn't mean you're destined to live in the foggy unknown. Sometimes there can be subtle or seemingly insignificant traits of your potential soulmate that you simply might be overlooking. There's a fine line between someone that makes you feel good in the short term and someone who has the potential to meet all your sexual needs for the long term. Thankfully, you don't have to stress trying to figure out if the person you're sharing your bed with really has all the qualities of a perfect partner. Check out these top qualities of a sexual soulmate to see how many boxes your partner checks off for you.
1. You Have Similar — Not Identical — Preferences
It might help if your preferences in the bedroom are somewhat aligned, but that doesn't mean you have to be carbon copies. According to Women's Health Magazine, a recent study examined similar sexual preferences and complementary sexual preferences and found have complementary sexual preferences correlated to higher sexual satisfaction. The same way it would be boring and bland if you both only ever wanted to eat at the same restaurant, it's actually a good thing if you and your partner have slightly differing tastes.
2. You're Both Tuned In
Have you ever felt like you and your partner are just perfectly in sync? I'm not just talking about in the bedroom, either. It turns out that how well you and your mate can read each other and match up without much effort is a good indicator of compatibility in virtually all areas of a relationship. Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, wrote in an article for Health, that "the more in tune you are sexually, the more tools you have as a couple to right your ship during tough times." So if you notice that you and your SO are on the same page about a lot of things, then that's a good indicator you'll be in sync sexually, too.
3. You Can Talk About It
If you two actually can talk about sexuality without it being a game-ender, then that's huge sign that your partner has the qualities of a sexual soulmate. "Talking about your own personal sexual desires and needs may be challenging," psycologist John Grohol wrote in Psych Central. "But the sooner you do ... the quicker you can know whether you share this compatibility." So though it may not be easy, if you find that you are able to talk freely with one another about your sexual needs, then you've got a solid foundation.
4. Your Partner Laughs With You, Not At You
This is a super embarrassing example, but I couldn't think of a better way to explain the importance of this character trait. So, one time when the mood struck, my partner completely forgot that he had been chopping up jalapenos earlier. Not five minutes in, we both felt a heating sensation — and not the KY kind — the disturbingly painful kind. We quickly realized that some of the residue from the peppers had gotten on his hands and then spread elsewhere. Despite the fact that it hurt like crazy and showering didn't seem to help, we were both able to laugh about it without hurting the other one's feelings.
5. You Hit Home Runs Frequently
It may sound obvious, but if you two have great sex with equally great frequency, you've probably found your sexual soulmate. Having a consistent amount of high quality intimate time is a huge factor in compatibility.
According to Women's Health, a recent study showed that sexual compatibility for couples was predicted by a higher frequency of intercourse and increased orgasms. So there you have it: science is telling you that lots of great sex is a really good thing.
6. Your Gut Says So
It may sound too simple, but the advice your mother and her mother before her lived by is solid for a reason. There are some things that science just can't measure or quantify, and your gut instinct is one of them.
Just like that little voice inside your head tells you not to walk down that sketchy alley, your intuition can often lead you down the right path to finding your soulmate. If something seems off in your potential relationship, listen to your gut. But if everything feels like it clicks, then you're probably good to go.