The holidays are a time for visiting family, and with that comes some pretty awkward family dinner conversations. Well-meaning as your relatives may be, most times (re: every freakin’ year) they don’t have a clue as to what’s OK to talk about and what’s not. Since your relatives constantly prod into your private life whenever they see you, you have become an expert at keeping a straight face and deflecting, to the point that it’s subconscious. But it’s not like you really have a choice, either, since you do love them in spite of their inability to stop asking for information they have no business knowing in the first place. So, although they may be annoying, awkward family dinner conversations are just an aspect of seasonal festivities that you usually just have to grin and bear.
And yet, you don’t necessarily have to go it all alone. For when the prying just becomes too much, there’s at least one easy way to turn down your threshold of what annoys you. Yes, I’m talking about alcohol. When in dire need of staving off a sarcastic or less-than-pleasant response from yourself, a swift sip of something strong will certainly make it all matter less. Learn which booze to turn to with this little guide to pairing the ideal combinations of liquor with questions you are worn out from hearing, and be invincible to any uncomfortable questions that get thrown your way for the rest of the evening.
"Why Don’t You Visit More Often?" & White Wine
In the grand scheme of things, this question is probably one of the most harmless. Still, being guilt-tripped during the holidays is just not something you want to be dealing with. Let a chilled, delicious white will soothe your conscience.
"When Are You Two Getting Married?" & Red Wine
Though this question isn’t the end of the world, getting on your case about something that’s an incredibly personal decision is just not cool. Even if the answer may very well be never, because you both don’t believe in marriage, it’s worth it to avoid the potential further awkwardness and dig into a glass of red.
"When Are You Having Another Baby" & Gin
Speaking of personal questions, here’s another doozy that gets served up every year. Obviously, this is a decision between you and your partner, so why not forget about it with some gin? A refreshing gin and tonic will help you keep your cool and dispell any pregnancy rumors.
"Have You Invested In [Insert Finance Terms Here]?" & Vodka
Pairing: vodka. Like anyone is going to want to discuss their personal finances at the dinner table, Uncle Joe. If your bank account is justfinethankyouverymuch, try some vodka on for size to handle the situation. Oh, and instead of a cocktail, you can just use some of the juice at the kids’ table to make a drink. How’s that for some fiscal savvy?
"Who Are You Voting For?" & Whiskey
Obviously, politics have no place at a dinner table, but there’s always at least one relative that’s going to bring it up. Diffuse the situation for yourself with some good old whiskey, which will never argue with you or let you down with its differing viewpoints.
"What Is [Insert Name of Ex] Up To?" & Beer
Yes, obliviousness is truly a gift, and it’s hard to believe anyone would think this is an acceptable question to ask. But maybe this is the only way some older relatives get their kicks—who knows? In any case, it’s still dredging up a ton of unnecessary stuff from your past that isn’t relevant anymore (obviously) or worth getting into. So, drink up some beer to quell the awkwardness of the topic and you’ll easily be able to say that far as you know, they're doing well.
"Did You Know That [Insert Parenting Technique] Is Bad For The Kids?" & Tequilla
Sometimes, if the conversation strikes enough of a chord, shots are really the only way. When someone disses your parenting skills and suggests their own (completely unsolicited) advice for how to raise your child, a few surreptitious shots of this classic will help you smile and nod politely through your annoyance. Cheers!