There are lots of people out there that like rules because they give them a sort of blueprint to follow if they want to be successful. They provide guidance about how to navigate certain situations and experiences that'll end in the best-possible result. Maybe that's why some people like to tout so-called relationship "rules," which give couples advice on some do's and don't's that'll make a relationship function more smoothly (and often — ideally — healthily). But some rules were made to be broken, as the saying goes, and there are some common relationship "rules" that actually tend to lead to divorce, which is pretty much the exact opposite of what you were hoping they'd do when you took the advice and decided to follow the rules — you thought they'd make your relationship stronger and longer-lasting. But sometimes you need to change up what you think you know.
"Relationships are living and changing beings that need care and new tools over the span of a relationship," Rose Lawrence, LPCC, LCPC, a psychotherapist and the owner of Mind Balance tells Romper by email. "Expecting to never get help or to never need to learn new tools is unrealistic for a relationship of any kind to succeed long-term."
So while you might think that these relationship rules are definitely a good idea, they might not actually be helping your relationship like you think that they are.