7 Gross Things Your Baby Will Eventually Do In Their Car Seat

Ad failed to load

Babies are disgusting. Sure, they're adorable and snuggly and their heads smell fantastic, but ultimately they're just gross. Both my kids have always managed to do something repulsive when they're in the most immobile position or situation, too. For example, the crib, changing table, in a stroller, and in my arms? Well that's when vomit, pee, or poop usually happens. Then, of course, there's the car seat. In fact, there's some gross things all babies do in their car seat that may require their parents to take a break in the form of recovery time because, well, gross.

My kids have done it all. When my oldest was a baby, she was fantastic at holding her overwhelmingly full diapers until we were driving in the middle of nowhere. Every trip we ever took in the car almost always required pulling over, creating a makeshift changing table, and throwing away whatever she was wearing. My youngest has always been the type to hide weird things — either inside his diaper or articles of clothing — only to pull them out when he's sitting in his car seat.

So if you're pregnant and/or simply preparing to be a parent, I have two words for you: be prepared. Whatever gross thing you can think of happening in a car seat (or in general) is absolutely going to happen. So with that in mind, here are some of the disgusting situations all babies manage to do at literally the worst time imaginable:

Ad failed to load

Have A Surprise Diaper Blowout


I don't know why babies wait until you're driving and incapable of doing a one-handed diaper change, but it must be fun for them to see the look on your face when they poop all over the damn place.

My favorite was when one of my children would have things seeping from all sides and I could see it happening from the rearview mirror, but couldn't do anything about it until I could stop. No, really. So fun you guys.

Spit-Up All Stealth Like


It's almost as if babies hold spit-up in both cheek pockets so they can get it out the moment the car is in motion. Perhaps this is some sort of baby game only babies know about? I mean, I've never met a baby who didn't do this. And the crazy part is, they usually can spit-up so secret like, that you really only notice it has happened when you're trying to get them out of the damn car.

Hide Food In Fun Places


When my son was old enough to move around a bit more in his car seat, he located every possible crevice so he could stuff whatever cereal puff of teething biscuit he had,into them. Of course I never located them until they has sufficiently molded, because duh.

Ad failed to load

Sneeze All Over The Window


I can always hear the build up, but it's nothing compared to seeing the boogers all over the window when all is said and done. My son is notorious for his earthquake sneezes that spray everything all over everywhere. We all sneeze, but babies have the cutest-sounding-most-disgusting sneezes ever. That's a fact.

Play With Their Snot


Then, just because he could, my son would curiously find his fingers smearing the snot all over the window, all over himself, and all over the car seat. Wonderful.

Gas Out The Whole Car


Babies are gassy because, well, their little stomachs have a lot going on. I get it — honestly, I do. But my babies (both of them, by the way) have always been the gassiest of any child I've ever known. As babies they'd inevitably stink up every car ride we ever went on. They couldn't help it, to be sure, but I had to drive with the windows down more often than what I would consider "normal."

Ad failed to load

Slobber Everywhere


When babies are teething their slobber ends up everywhere. I could say I got used to it, or that it didn't bother me, but I'd be lying. The slobber is never not disgusting — especially when I'd go to pull my baby from their car seat to find them covered in it. Then, when I held them close to me to exit the car, I was covered in it, too.

These things babies do are pretty gross, but I've learned through the years the grossness doesn't go away, it just changes in severity and variety. Where there are no more diaper blowouts, there's now a clogged toilet. Where there isn't slobber or spit-up, there's the vomiting all over themselves in the night (and not telling us until morning). Basically, kids don't get any less disgusting, so it's best to just lean into it, my friends.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

7 Hilarious Differences Between Having A Baby In Your 20s Vs Your 30s

I was 24 when I had my daughter. And even though that pregnancy was neither expected nor pleasant, I was optimistic. Sure, I guess your 20s are "supposed" to be about finding yourself, finishing college, starting your career, and navigating less-than…
By Candace Ganger

Babies "R" Us Was The First Place I Went When I Found Out I Would Be A Mom

For years I struggled to have a baby, and the sight of toys and layettes made my heart hurt. For me, Toys "R" Us and Babies "R" Us were a complete no-go zone, a reminder of everything I was missing out on. My mom would walk the long way around Target…
By Becky Bracken

New Moms Have Two Options: Be "Sad & Fat" Or "Desperate & Thin"

As the line goes, the worst thing you could say about me, I've already thought about myself. In the early postpartum period with my son, it was: "I am overweight, lonely, and heartbroken." It was four days after I brought my son into the world, and I…
By Danielle Campoamor

6 Fascinating Facts About Spring Babies: You Could Have A Leader On Your Hands

Does the season in which you are born affect you or are all seasons pretty equal? It turns out that there are many ways in which the your child's birth season could give you an insight into things to come. Whether you are expecting a baby in the next…
By Shari Maurer

Kids Will Love These TV Shows & Movies Coming To Netflix In April

It's that time of the month again: as March draws to a close, Netflix gets ready for a little bit of spring cleaning. Though some TV shows and movies will have to find homes elsewhere, their departure makes room for all kinds of exciting new media. A…
By Megan Walsh

I'm A Stay-At-Home Mom &, Face It, These 11 Stereotypes Are Totally True

Hello, friends! It's me, your resident stay-at-home mom. You know, there's a lot that's said about me and my kind, and the vast majority of it is not even remotely true. For example, this whole "we're lazy, vapid, unambitious, anti-feminist, backstab…
By Jamie Kenney

The Pressure To Worry About The Gap Between Kids Is So Bad For Moms

"Two under two is absolutely crazy," a friend recently told me upon hearing the news that I was expecting a second child. "Why would you do this to yourself? Seriously, why?" However harsh her words, she was only echoing the same feelings I'd been ba…
By Marie Southard Ospina

To Be Honest, I Couldn't Survive Motherhood Without My Job

The decision to work outside the home once you've become a parent can be a complicated one. Some people don't really have a choice, and go back to work because they're either a single parent or can't sustain their family on one income. Some choose to…
By Priscilla Blossom

I Feel Guilty That My Kid’s Dad Is A Better Parent Than Me, & That’s BS

I was scared, and he was sure. I was clueless, and he was well-researched. I was making mistakes, and he was picking up the pieces. From the moment I found out I was pregnant until just last night, when I threw my hands up in the air and left the alw…
By Danielle Campoamor

These Millennial Parents Are Taking Gender-Neutral Parenting To An Entirely New Level

A woman on the subway looks at my bulbous shape and asks, “What are you having?” I take a deep breath and throw a glance to my 5-year-old. “I’m having a baby,” I say to the woman. “No, no” the woman says laughing as she pushes further. “Are you havin…
By Madison Young

My Daughter Is Obsessed With Being "Pretty" & I'm Way Past Terrified

Last week, when I picked up my daughter after school, she immediately wanted to know if I liked her hair. "Is it pretty?" she asked. Her hair was pulled up into two ponytails that were intertwined into thick, long braids. A shimmering pink and purple…
By Dina Leygerman

7 Things No One Tells You About Having A Baby In Your 20s, But I Will

I was 24 when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. The pregnancy was a surprise, since I was on birth control (side note: antibiotics and birth control don't mix), but my partner and I decided to continue with the pregnancy and committed to m…
By Candace Ganger

7 Things I Wish My Partner Had Said To Me In The First Hour After Giving Birth

I don't know if it was the buzz of the surrounding machines, the non-existent cry of our son as the doctors tried to resuscitate him, or the fact that I'd already been through labor and delivery once before, but I knew something was missing after I h…
By Candace Ganger

Moms’ Groups Weren’t For Me, Sorry

I go to my moms’ club everyday of the week, but not usually on weekends. My moms' group is a place I can always count on finding fellow mothers who understand the daily struggles and triumphs of parenthood and of juggling life’s responsibilities. Dep…
By Samantha Taylor

Millennial Women Are Getting Married Later Than Gen X, & The Reasons Why Are Pretty Badass

The battle of the generations seems to come up when it comes to every lifestyle or career choice people make. Women, especially, are an important demographic when it comes to analysts looking at the lifestyle choices we make or the expected milestone…
By Josie Rhodes Cook

I've Had 3 Miscarriages But *Please* Keep Telling Me About Your Pregnancy

I can feel the tension the moment my friend announces her pregnancy. I can hear the forced nonchalant attitude she's willing herself to exude as she fishes for the ultrasound. I know why I was the last to learn that she was expecting; why she keeps l…
By Danielle Campoamor

7 Early Signs You're Going To Need An Epidural, According To Experts

Even if you've constructed an elaborate birth plan, it's impossible to control every aspect of labor and delivery. Complications can occur, proactive measures might be necessary, and your mind is subject to change when those damn contractions really …
By Candace Ganger

I'm Pregnant & I Refuse To Read Any Parenting Books

I didn't read any parenting books when I was expecting my daughter, and I refuse to read any parenting books as I await my second child now. I'm the first to admit that I don't really know what I'm doing when it comes to raising my daughter. A good d…
By Marie Southard Ospina

11 Essential Products To Pack In Your Hospital Bag, According To OB-GYNs

The minute you go into labor (or think you're going into labor), chaos ensues. You and your partner are likely to get a little frantic, just like in the movies, so you most definitely want to have a hospital bag packed before the day comes. This prec…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

7 Photos You *Must* Take In The First 6 Months Of Motherhood

In my experience, becoming a mom is like becoming an amateur photographer. There's just something about the need to capture every single coo and sorta-smile that leaves you obsessed with all things photography. I know I couldn't stop taking selfies w…
By Candace Ganger