Contrary to popular belief, a feminist mother isn't too busy smashing the patriarchy or going to work or packing kids' lunches to have her partner's back. As a matter of fact, she's so fantastic at multitasking, that cracking the foundation of a misogynistic society while simultaneously advocating for her partner in whatever way he or she needs, is all in a day's work.
Feminist mothers are doing parenthood differently, which is why it should come as no surprise that feminist mothers do partnership differently, too. And since they're well-versed in the art of fighting for the rights of everyone, feminist moms are going to have their partner's back in every conceivable way. Whether it's giving them the time and space to make their own decisions, or it's being upfront and honest with their partner when others won't, a feminist mom is going to support her partner so that they can continue to co-parent as a healthy, beneficial, and successful, cohesive unit.
Of course, this doesn't mean that a feminist mom is going to have a perfect relationship; those truly don't exist. She's still going to disagree with her partner, and visa versa, because even though she's a patriarchy-fighting force of equality, she's human and thus flawed. But supporting her partner will be a priority, and here are eight ways she'll do it.
She Will Respect Their Voice
A feminist believes that every voice matters, and social identifiers should never be used to silence or marginalize a specific voice or set of voices. That means, in a relationship, a feminist mom is going to value her partner's voice, and respect their ability (and right) to use it. What they have to say is going to matter to her, and she won't ignore or stifle the thoughts and/or feelings that her partner expresses.
She Won't Disregard Their Emotions...
A feminist mother isn't going to police her partner's emotions by telling them to "calm down" or asking them not to "overreact." Those phrases are nothing more than a lazy attempt to control an individual in the name of personal convenience. Sometimes, emotions are messy and unpleasant, but that doesn't make them invalid. A feminist mother will take her partner's emotions to heart, and respect them just as much as she respects her partner's right to have them.
Or Tell Them Not To Be Emotional At All
Which is why she will never devalue her partner by telling them not to be emotional. If her partner is a man, she's not going to adhere to gender stereotypes and tell him that he can't be emotional just because he's a dude. Emotions are human, and to be human is to be emotional.
She'll Share The Responsibilities
A feminist mother is going to share the responsibilities associated with a romantic partnership and parenthood. If her partner is struggling and/or feeling more exhausted than normal, she will help them (because she knows that her partner would do the same). Because gender equality is so important to her, she won't hold her partner to a specific set of obligations because it's their "job." She'll help because they're a team, and that's what people on a team do.
She'll Help Them Stay Up-To-Date
A feminist mom is all about staying as informed as possible. Whether it's smashing the patriarchy one well-researched article at a time, or helping her partner by studying the best way to get through the next toddler tantrum, a feminist mom is going to usually have the answers (or at least know where she can find them).
She'll Respect Their Decisions...
Even if we don't understand — or even like — the decisions our partners make, we should always respect them. A feminist mother knows this better than most, as she has undoubtably had to fight for her decisions to be respected by misogynistic forces that serve to disadvantage her since...pretty much the minute she was born. So she'll respect the decisions her partner makes, even if she doesn't agree with them, and will work to better understand why her partner is making the decisions he or she is making.
...And Trust That They're The Best Person To Make Them
Because, at the end of the day, the best person to make a decision for any person is that person. And even though feminist mothers are busy fighting for the right of every woman to make her own choices about her own body, she'll also find the time to fight for her partner's right to make their own decisions, too.