Ah, the orgasm. Never has one goal had so many approaches, am I right? Because everyone's body is different, it's only natural that everyone's orgasms are different too. Because there's such a variety of experiences you can have with an orgasm, it's safe to say that most of the myths about orgasms that you hear are just that — myths. But because the female orgasm is something that's been shrouded in intrigue, excitement, and some taboo for the last several decades, it's important to read up on what's really going on with those orgasms, and what you've heard that you can toss out the window.
Thankfully, talking about sex is slowly but surely becoming a more normative behavior. With the idea of sex positivity rising in society, swapping stories about your orgasms is no longer considered uncouth, strange, or taboo. Luckily, you now live in a day and age where orgasms and all their glory are pretty standard discussion topics for you and your friends. So the next time you hear something about an orgasm that makes you wonder, fact check it. Because not everything you hear in the media, at dinner, or in passing, is actually true. And orgasms deserve their truth.
Myth #1: All Orgasms Will Be Mind Blowing
That's right, not every orgasm you have is going to be one that blows your mind. Women can have low-key orgasms, according to Brown University. In fact, the university noted that it's possible that women can have an orgasm without even really feeling it. And that's mind blowing in itself, isn't it?
Myth #2: Your Orgasm Will Happen In Tandem With Your Partner's
According to Women's Health, it's not that common to come at the same time as your partner. Though a view of your favorite romantic comedy might try and convince you otherwise, I'm willing to bet your friends will back you up on the staggered orgasms front.
Myth #3: Your Orgasm Will Be Easy To Achieve
There's no shame in needing a little time to get warmed up, or needing more than one thing to get yourself off. Betty Dodson, sexologist and author of The Joy of Self-Loving said that women often need around 20 to 30 minutes of adequate clitoral stimulation on average in order to reach orgasm. So if you're feeling to pressure to get off quickly? Don't sweat it. No matter if it takes you 30 seconds or 30 minutes, your orgasm is yours and yours alone, and you know what it takes to get you there.
Myth #4: You're Bad In Bed If You Don't Orgasm
If you can't reach orgasm during intercourse, that doesn't mean that you or your partner are bad in bed. According to Cosmopolitan, there are plenty of reasons you might not be reaching climax. And being bad in bed isn't one of them. Try not to psych yourself out during sex if you're not reaching an orgasm, just put in a little elbow grease to figure out what helps you get off, and use those tactics to help you next time you're getting busy between the sheets.
Myth #5: You're Not Having Good Sex If You Don't Orgasm
Having an orgasm during sex isn't the end-all, be-all. Think about how much you love foreplay, and that all happens before you even get close to orgasm, right? So why does every romp between the sheets have to end in orgasm? According to sex and relationships expert Dr. Petra Boynton, it doesn't. "You get to define what a fulfilling sex life is," Boynton told the Telegraph. And whether or not that includes an orgasm is completely up to you.
Myth #6: You Should Be Having Multiple Orgasms Easily
Just like simultaneous orgasms are portrayed in pop culture, multiple orgasms seem very easy for women to come by (pun intended), don't they? But according to Shape, it's not that simple to have multiple orgasms. From connection, to emotions, and everything in between, there are tons of things to take into consideration when it comes to having multiple orgasms in one session. So don't feel bad if you're only having one, or if you're not having any at all.
Myth #7: Intercourse Should Make You Orgasm
Though most sex scenes you see end in an impressive display of orgasms, around 75 percent of women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone, according to ABC News. And 10 to 15 percent never climax under any circumstances. In fact, according to research done at the Kinsey Institute, most women are more likely to have an orgasm on their own than with a partner. So if you're not having an orgasm during intercourse? You're not alone.