Even the most loving relationship isn't totally free from conflict. In fact, there are some fights that even happy couples have on the regular. Sometimes arguments are just a sign that the relationship is growing.
In general, arguments themselves aren't negative, because they're simply another form of communication. By being so open and honest with your partner, you're possibly just making the relationship stronger. "Fighting means you care about the relationship," said licensed clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D. in Glamour. "When fighting goes away completely, sometimes one or both people have checked out." As long as these disagreements remain respectful, it can be a positive sign for the relationship. You're trying to negotiate what works for both partners.
That said, the key here is that you're fighting fair. By avoiding hurtful comments and offering a compromise, for instance, couples can argue in a fair way, according to Bustle. Not every argument has to devolve into a yelling match complete with name calling. If you didn't have a healthy model of arguing when growing up, however, then it may be a good idea to speak with a counselor or therapist about this. Arguing is a skill that can be learned like anything else. Keep reading to learn more about the topics happy couples might argue about regularly.
Stressing about cash is super common. In fact, studies have shown that couples argue about money more than just about anything, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Plus, these fights tend to be more intense and difficult to resolve, as further explained by the APA.
And even happy couples have to address this super touchy topic. But as long as they're arguing fairly, it's all OK. "Structured in the right way, shared in the right way, talking about your fears, upsets and frustrations over finances can bring you closer as a couple," said personal development expert Gary John Bishop in HuffPost. Discussing money can be another way to communicate and get closer as a couple.
In a sexual relationship, the couple has to navigate different libidos, expectations, and desires. It's no wonder this topic often leads to conflict. However, it's still important to talk (or even argue) about. "But what's good for some couples is not right for every couple," said sex therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., in SELF. If that argument ultimately helps your and your partner get to a place where you're both happy, then it's a worthwhile conversation.
3. Household Chores
This is another tricky topic, because everyone's idea about cleanliness is a little different. But to keep the dishes from ruining your relationship, there are ways to talk about fair chore division with your partner, as explained in Bustle. For the most part, neither partner wants to feel burdened with the majority of chores.
4. Parenting Decisions
Many couples disagree when it comes to certain parenting decisions. "It makes a lot of sense, because what’s more precious to you than your child?" said registered marriage and family therapist Kathryn Guthrie in Today's Parent. However, these disagreements don't have to become an impasse. Discussing parenting decisions when you're both calm, and listening to one another attentively, are ways you can parent as a team despite disagreement, as Debbie Pincus, MS LMHC, explained in Empowering Parents. You don't have to agree on everything to work well together as parents.
5. Family Pressures
You and your partner will likely have some degree of family drama going on as well. Although some arguments may result, it's important to remember that the couple is also a team. "You and your partner have to be willing to push back when extended family makes that an issue," said licensed psychotherapist Rachel Sussman in Fatherly.
6. Dietary Choices
Even the most devoted of couples will have some pretty different lifestyles. And it's OK if these distinctions result in arguments from time to time, even if it's over something as simple as dietary choices. "I’ve seen people that are so different on the spectrum, and they end up with a broken relationship because there’s no compromise. They pretty much have separate lives because of food, and it eventually creates a lot of resentment,” said master-certified dating coach Amie Leadingham in Mel Magazine. But by practicing some compromises, such as cooking together and supporting the other person's diet, it's possible to work with dietary differences in a couple, according to Well and Good.
7. The Never-ending Fight
For many couples, there's one fight that just seems to repeat itself on a loop. As it turns out, recurring fights are common among couples, and it's possible to work through their root cause, as explained in The Couples Center. If you need help with this, or any other relationship issue, then don't hesitate to contact a couples counselor. For the most part, though, even the happiest couples will have arguments from time to time, and that's perfectly OK.