I love my partner. Really, I do. He's funny, caring, and a great father. I don't say any of this to supersede with a "but," either. In fact, I could go on and on about all his great qualities. When others compliment him, I agree whole-heartedly (here's where my "but" comes in) but, I hear parenting compliments people have told my kid's dad, but have never told me. Honestly, it really gets to me. I wish it didn't, because it sounds petty and a non-issue since he does live up to the compliments, but it bothers me because, well, I'm doing the same damn things he is doing.
When my partner and I started dating, I lived a state away. It wasn't long before I moved to be closer to him, his family, his friends, his everything, and leaving all I knew behind. It was a huge risk, not knowing if we'd make it or not, but I jumped in with both feet and 13 years and two kids later, we're still here. Being away from all of my people has been a difficult adjustment, even still. While I'm considered family by all legal terms, it's not often anyone asks about my life, hopes or dreams, or even how my day is going (outside of the connections I've made on my own).
The same applies to compliments and praise. My partner gets it here, while I'm the unsung hero. Of course it's not that dramatic, but it does cause friction between us. Why can't anyone acknowledge all I do? With that, here are some of the things people have said to my partner, but can't seem to say the same to me (but I so wish they would).