Life
Sometimes being pregnant can give you a giant case of "Woe Is Me Syndrome." You're uncomfortable, usually nauseous, sometimes down, and at times, not your most confident self. As a result and on numerous occasions, you could really use someone who would unconditionally care for your every need. Someone to make your favorite childhood snacks and pamper you in ways your partner might otherwise not be into. In other words, there are lots of pregnancy moments that'll leave you wanting your own mom to come and take care of you.
My mom is the kind of person who truly shines in her role as caretaker when she is tending to one of her kids, especially if one of her kids is sick. She's not the chicken-soup-and-take-you-to-the-doctor-immediately kind of mom, but she is the snacks-and-tea-all-day-while-you-watch-TV-on-the-couch kind of mom. She'll never tell us to "buck up" if we are feeling lousy, but she will tell us to lie down and rest, and watch a good movie under a cozy blanket.
So when I was pregnant, I knew I could call her when I was feeling sorry for myself about my acid reflux, or how often I had to vomit, or the terrible cystic acne I suffered in my first trimester. "Lie down, put on a show, and make some tea!" was her classic response, and while those things weren't always the cure for what ailed me, they were comforting. The unique kind of comfort my mom provided was especially helpful during these particular moments of my pregnancies:
When You're So Nauseous Only Your Moms Food (Or Drinks) Will Do
There are certain things from your childhood that you, or people in your life, will do their best to approximate. However, try as you (or anyone else) may, you can't do it like your mom did.
For me, it was the way she made my tea, which happens to be a strongly steeped Lipton with three to four teaspoons of white sugar and lots of lemon. When I'm sick with any kind of cold, nauseous, or feeling any kind of general "ick," this recipe is my go-to. When I was pregnant, it was all I wanted to drink, especially since water tasted disgusting to me. Whenever my mom visited, I asked her to make me tea "her way," and I wished I could master her method. There's just no imitating an expert.
When All You Want Is A Massage For Your Aching Body
When you're pregnant, sometimes you're so uncomfortable in your own body you just want someone to do nice things to you to help you feel anything but the aches and pains and squeezed-out feelings that are coming from inside you.
I longed for the way my mom gives me neck massages whenever I am in any proximity toward her. We could be anywhere, from a fancy restaurant to waiting in line at the Post Office, and my mom will reach out to massage my neck because she knows I'm always tense in that specific area. How amazing is that, right? I mean, a person exists in my life whose innate response is to take the tension out of my neck whenever she is near me. That's the dream, dear reader.
Sure, my husband is great, in that he will massage me if I ask him, but it's not like he lives to to be my personal masseuse. With the pain I was feeling all over my pregnant body, I wished I could have my mom's famous neck massages all the time.
When You're So Big You Can't Bend To Get The Remote
When you're so huge you can't reach for the remote, that somehow migrated to your toes, and you don't want to ask your partner because they'll probably make a stupid joke about it, you'll probably find yourself wishing for your mom. Your mom will probably deliver said remote with a snack tray.
When You Just Want To Ugly Cry
If you complain about your pregnant body to most people, they will probably highlight all the positives, like how miraculous it is that your body is being used as a vessel for another human being and all that jazz. Sometimes that's helpful, but other times it's the last damn thing you want to hear. So, if you just want a good old-fashioned ugly cry about how everything you put on in your third trimester looks like a potato sac, you can most likely count on your mom to listen and not sugarcoat things.
When I was a bridesmaid in month eight of my first pregnancy, I took one look in the mirror after the bridal party's makeup and hair people did their "magic" on me and cried. Then I called my mom. After she asked me if there was any possibility that I was overstating the level of ugly I was feeling, she accepted my feelings for what they were and didn't argue with me. She told me that maybe I didn't look my best today, but who would look great in 90 degree weather at a winery weeks before their due date?
When You Want To Lie On The Couch Watching Daytime TV Without Judgement
In my first trimester, I went through a phase of literally not being able to leave my couch. My energy level was zero, and I was basically dry heaving into a garbage can because I was too tired to make it to the bathroom. My husband would come home from work and find me in the same pajamas he'd left me in that morning, watching the same channel I'd been watching since he'd left. At one point he looked at me and asked, "Is this what it's going to be like in our lives from now on?" Looking back, he told me that at the time, he actually thought I had undergone a personality shift, rather than the fact that I was suffering the effects of major first trimester symptoms.
My mom, on the other hand, was all about me taking in some R&R. "Don't move! Relax! Put your feet up!" was her mantra throughout my entire pregnancy.
When You're Feeling Particularly Sorry For Yourself
I don't know about other people, but I tend to cry after I throw up. I truly feel sad for my body after it has been through the trauma of vomiting. I don't know why, I guess it's just an emotional reflux.
Usually my mom is the first person I call after I throw up, because she always gives me the response I need. She always feels terribly sorry for me and tells me how awful it is that I just had to endure something so, well, awful. Even though vomiting was something that occurred multiple times a day, nearly every day for seven months during both of my pregnancies, my mom was thoroughly upset on my behalf for each time I experienced the "Sad Vomits." I have to say, that that brought me comfort.
When You've Eaten Something Extremely Delicious And You Want To Tell The One Person Who Cares
Most people don't really want to be bothered during the day to hear about the amazing street knish you just inhaled on the corner of Avenue C, that tasted even more ridiculously delicious because of your pregnancy hormones. Your mom, however, is not most people. Your mom actually wants to know everything, including: how delicious was it, how flaky it was, how savory it was, and whether or not you remember it was so you can take her next time she's in town.
My mom never tires of hearing what I've eaten for lunch. I could call her any time of day with a report on what I've ingested, and she will listen with the attention of a CSI detective. My food descriptions were especially colorful during my pregnancies because my cravings were all over the place, so I would like to think that I entertained her with some surprising items throughout the duration of of my pregnancies.
