Before I had kids, the possibility of not having children never occurred to me. While I didn't want them at that particular time, I knew I wanted to be a mother eventually. When you're still trying to figure out who you are and what your purpose is, it's hard to think about the future, especially one that may not be what you imagined. All these years later, I have some questions I want to ask my child-free self about infertility because, honestly, I had no idea how challenging the road to motherhood would prove to be.
My pre-kid days were spent in and out of relationships. I married and divorced out of high school, then met my current husband shortly after. At that time, I was a musician, playing at clubs while (barely) holding a day job. I'd always been a dreamer with hustle, but as far as plotting a logical path towards achieving those dreams, I fumbled through years of uncertainty, unsure of what to do with my life. Even after falling in love again, becoming a mother wasn't anywhere near my radar. Why would it be? Life was fun when I didn't have any"real" responsibilities.
Then I became unexpectedly pregnant, and my husband and I found ourselves awkwardly navigating a new path until parenting felt like it had been part of our plan all along. We found a routine that works for us and eventually decided to have another child, only to realize life had different plans in the form of fertility problems. Every subsequent pregnancy was difficult, and I was forced to endure the loss and heartbreak of two miscarriages. So, knowing what I know now, here are some questions I'd love to ask my child-free self about infertility. Maybe, if I'd really thought about it, I never would've taken any of it for granted.