Whether it was arguing over having ice cream before dinner or taking the resident "bad boy" to the prom, you and your mother have probably been fighting for some time. And as you got older, the subject matter may have become a little more serious,and the fights a little more intense. Now that you are a parent yourself, you understand why it's often best to keep the peace with your mom. Which is why there are some questions you should never ask your mom unless you want a fight.
You may think your squabbles with your mom are silly, but there could be a larger issue at hand. According to Vox, mothers and daughters are often have conflict because a mother's need to protect and a daughter's need for acceptance put them at odds. She thinks her advice is for your own good, while you see it more as a personal attack. Adidtionally, as HuffPost noted, mother-daughter conflicts often arise because of changes in gender roles over the last few generations. You and your mother may not always share the same views because the issues of your time give you different perspectives. Although neither of you is necessarily right or wrong, you may have the same stubborn gene that forces you to stick to your guns.
If you'd rather spend less time arguing with your mom, you may have to do your part by being the bigger person. You may not be able to change much about your mother's personality, but you can change how you react to some of the things she says and diffuse some of the tension. As Women.com advised, rather than letting something you don't like cause you to explode, keep your cool and try to find a way to diffuse the situation.
1. Why Weren't You There?
It can be hard to let go of the past, but try to resist the urge to ask why your mom missed your soccer game 15 years ago. Moms make amazing sacrifices for their children every day, and often have to make tough choices. You can't hold that against her.
2. Why Did You Vote That Way?
No matter how close your relationship is with your mom, it's usually a good idea to avoid conversations about politics. You love her with all of your heart, but if you find out that she doesn't share your views on major political issues, you may find yourself having some uncomfortable conversations at your next Thanksgiving dinner.
3. Should You Be Eating That?
You may have embraced a new and healthier way of eating, but that doesn't mean you have to turn your nose up at what your mother has on her plate. She's probably been eating a certain way her entire life and may not be open to change. If you want your mom to consider going vegan or cutting carbs, let her sample some of your favorite dishes at her own pace. Don't try to shove it down her throat.
4. Why Didn't You Work?
It may be hard for you to understand why your mother didn't work outside of the home. But depending on when and where she was raised, there may not have been as many opportunities for employment that made sense for your family. As Psych Central pointed out, it's important to remember that your parents are a product of their life experiences.
5. Are You Trying To Ruin My Life?
You may be an adult, but that won't stop your mom from letting you know how she feels about many of your life choices. From the paint color you chose for your kitchen to how you raise your children, your mom can't help but give you her opinion. But no matter how annoying it may be to hear, know that it is coming from a good place. Besides, as soon as your little one gets out on her own, you'll probably end up doing the same thing.
6. Was My Sibling Your Favorite?
You may have been the one who was always served last at the dinner table and forced to wear your older sibling's hand me downs. But that's no reason to think your mom loved you any less. The "favorite" child may change over time. What remains consistent is your mom's unconditional love for all of her children.
7. Why Did You Raise Me This Way?
It's easy to blame your mom for all of your flaws. But rather than living in the past, why not give her credit for doing her best and try to move on? Today's moms have access to lots of information that wasn't available when you were growing up. You should accept that fact that she isn't perfect, as Psych Central mentioned. Because after all, no one really is.